Let's Get the Shovels

The prompt for this week's Journal 52 page was "Friendship".

I was very inspired by THIS PIECE from Michelle Mathey.  (FYI, her blog is called Pigment of My Imagination which is such a great name!)  I really loved the square of watercolor on the page and how she worked over it...so stinking AWESOME!  So I spent a good part of one of my evenings making watercolor squares (and squares with my Inktense pencils as well)...  I love this look so much I may have to make a dedicated journal just for the this type of page...  I really do adore it!

So then I was scrolling through Pinterest, searching for a good friendship related quote, still not sure exactly what direction I wanted to go, when I came across this:

Hehehe...hilarious...

And then I had a direction...

"I know exactly what you're thinking..."

I thought it might be too incriminating to actually put the shovel bit on the page...but you know the truth...

It really is fun to have those people in your life whom you can share a look with...where you know exactly what the other person is thinking.  It doesn't necessarily mean 'get the shovel'...it could be about that hilarious joke from two weeks ago...it could mean 'did you see that hot guy over there?'...but whatever it is, you and your friend know without a doubt what the look means.  It's one of the best parts of having a close friend.

So my page is dedicated to fantastic wordless conversations between really good friends...and perhaps, to a lesser extent, a silent homage to shovels...

I'm not quite sure...

By Way of Explanation

The prompt for Documented Life Project (DL) this week is monochromatic.  You can read more about it  HERE.

Imitation being the most sincere form of flattery, I decided to try my hand at THIS awesome drawing that I found on Pinterest.  Sadly, the pin doesn't go to a site, so I can't credit the original artist...but if you know who it is, please let me know!  I would love to credit them...and see more of their work!

Anywho, here's my spread:

"Are you afraid?"

And a close up of the drawing (which was done in colored pencil):

Her pupils are a little wonky in this picture, but I didn't see it till I enlarged the picture to put in the blog post...then I promptly fixed it...  Even with wonky pupils, she still makes me SO proud...and now, with fixed pupils, extra proud...

First, allow me to just say: SQUEAL OF DELIGHT!  SQUEAL OF DELIGHT!  I am so extraordinarily happy with this sketch...I can't even tell you...I just love it.  *pats self on back*  *sigh of happiness*

Ok, I'm good now...

Also, I finally...FINALLY...got myself some frisket (also known as masking fluid)...and I am in LOVE!!!  I've been painting it down and peeling it off all day to get to know it better...it's so stinking awesome...I have a fine liner bottle coming in the mail, and I can hardly wait to play with it in that way!  I get a sick amusement out of rubbing the dried up boogery goobers off of the paper...like when you were a kid and put Elmer's glue on your hand just so you could peel it off...I know that I wasn't the only one doing that!  This is like the adult version of that, but, at the end, instead of getting a dried glue hand print to throw in the trash, you get awesome art!  YAY!  

I did the "Are you afraid?" in today's DL spread with the frisket and Dylusions spray inks, first spraying down some Dylusions in blue hues, letting it dry, applying the frisket and letting it dry, and then spraying it with black Dylusions and letting it dry (seeing a pattern?) and, at last, rubbing the boogery frisket away to reveal the awesomeness underneath.

The idea for this spread came into my mind because of my "Alternate Amy" project.

For those that don't know about it, I'm doing a fake journal about what my life could have been like if I had not lost someone I loved very much to suicide.  (There's a link to the most recent entry farther down in this post.)  I'm writing out diary style posts and making an art journal spread to go along with each entry...doing all of it as though it was three years ago, before my loved one killed himself.

I originally started art journaling as a way to work through my grief.  Ok...that's not exactly true...  At first, I just thought it might be a way to take my mind off of what had happened...even just for a minute.  I needed to find something I hadn't done before...something I would have to concentrate on.  In other words, I was looking for an escape...but then I found out what a relief art journaling was.  I could put things down on the page and leave them there.  I inadvertently found a way to work through the grief...and then, slowly, I found out that I could work on myself as well.  I learned who I am and have been able to move forward in ways I never thought were possible.

And so when I was thinking about doing the fake journal (what I call the Alternate Amy project), I was leery.  I worried that I might be going backwards.  I only recently got some kind of a handle on what had happened.  I just finished working through obsession with the situation...realizing I was obsessed and that it wasn't healthy and taking steps to change that.  And here I was wanting to make a whole journal dedicated to him.  That seems like it should be a red flag, right?  I thought long and hard about it.  And I came to the conclusion that this is not about being obsessed.  

Next month is the anniversary of his death.  At this time of year, it's hard not to think about it...but it's not the only thing I think about.  Right now, in this moment, I need a way to honor him.  To show that he was important to me.  That I loved him and I still love him.  This project is my way of thanking him for all the things he gave me while he was here.

Life goes on, and that's a hard thing to deal with at times.  In order to live my life, I have to continue without him.  But, just because I move forward, that doesn't mean that I will ever forget who he was.  I know what he started inside of me...how much he affected my life when he was still here.  And I know that I wouldn't be at the place I'm at now if it weren't for him.  That's a huge part to play in someone's life, and it deserves to be recognized.

Everything that I do on this blog is because of him.  I've done the best I can to be the best person I can  without him in my life.  I'm proud of who I've become...I've come so far.  Alternate Amy, the fake journal, that's the person I might have been if he was still in my life...in the best scenario.  The only way I can think of to honor him is to show how much farther I might be if he were still here.

And on that note, I give you the art for today's Alternate Amy entry:

"She wondered if he remembered."

You can read the journal entry HERE if you would like.  

I hope that today's post explains my mindset a little, and helps you to understand why Alternate Amy is such an important project to me.  I hope that you will follow along and see what happens in that other place, where I still have him in my life.  And I hope that, as always, my work will inspire you in some way in your own creative endeavors.  I think that if I can inspire another person, even in a small way, then I pay forward the good things that were given to me.  And that is the best way I can think of to honor the person who gave them to me in the first place.

Color Scheming and Keeping On Track

Last week for Journal 52, the prompt was "Color Inspiration" (read more about J52 HERE).

I may have mentioned it before, but I have an intense love of plates (and bowls and cutlery...a lot of kitchen/dining related things appeal to me, I guess)...in a perfect world, I'd have a huge collection of them in every pattern that catches my eye and I'd be happy as a clam.  I'd have one of each and nothing would match and it would be pure utopia for me.  I think I must have inherited this love from my grandma, who had my own personal paradise in her kitchen cabinets...although I think part of her collection was earned honestly: years of sets of plates and many children in her house equaling a lot of breakage...I was just the enthralled observer of the survivors.  Either way, I can remember sitting down at the table hoping I'd get a certain plate...or, even better, opening up the cupboard door and getting to pick which one I wanted.  I still do this at my house, and my husband continually questions why I just can't take a plate off the top of the stack like a normal person...  I can't help it...I love what I love...

Anyway, since this isn't a perfect world, I don't have space for a huge collection of plates...so I have to limit myself to a few REALLY special pieces...the ones that my eyes never want to look away from.  So for this week's J52 page, I chose one of my absolute favorite plates:

My awesome Merit saucer/plate inspiration piece...Isn't it GORGEOUS???
I would totally love to have this tattooed on me somewhere...I love it beyond words!

I really love the pale yellow of the background along with the bright juicy colors in the flower...it just floats my boat!  

I also love the design...the composition and the flower itself...SO awesome!

So even though the prompt was color inspiration...I took it further and just tried to recreate the plate in page form:

YAY!  

Sorry for the dark pictures...I took the picture of the plate during the day (so I'd have a reference photo) and it came out really true to color.  The journal page pictures happened at night, so the colors in the photos are way off what's really on the page (especially the yellow background...it's pale yellow in real life).  Thank goodness we're on the uphill swing with Daylight Savings happening.  I hate losing an hour's sleep, but I do appreciate more daytime hours happening so that I can take better pictures!

"It takes a great deal of courage to see the world in all it's tainted glory and still love it."
- Oscar Wilde

I'm super happy with the drawing of the flower!  Full disclosure...I originally was going to write the quote in that gray color, but my brain forgot how to spell (and you can't erase that marker, darn it!) so I scribbled over my mistake with the marker and just wrote over that (more carefully) with the white pen.  It was a happy accident for me, because I really like the way that dreary gray block on the pretty page ties in with the 'tainted glory' part of the quote!

At some point, I will probably go back and add a page to my J52 journal using only these COLORS as inspiration...because otherwise I'll feel like I 'didn't do it right' and it will bother me until I do...I know, I know...I have issues...  On the positive side, I really do love that color palette, so I think I'll be glad to use it again!

In awkward segway news, I had a hectic week at work, so I actually had this page finished but didn't have time to post!  That's working way too hard in my opinion!!!  I'm going to have to figure out where I can create some time in my life, because this whole working around work thing is just not working for me!

Do you have any ideas on ways to find time?  I feel a little guilty asking this question because, mostly, I go to work, come home, and do art...really the only solution is to become independently wealthy, so if I could just win the lottery or something, that would be great...BUT I really would like to hear any suggestions you have about finding time!  I think it's a topic that a lot of people think about, so maybe you have some awesome ideas about it that can help.  

One thing I think about...notice I said think about, not do...is to keep a schedule (this was actually one of my 'new year's resolutions'...going along with my word of the year: condition)...  I don't have a lot of outside commitments, other than work, but what if I made myself stick to an at-home schedule?  Part of me thinks this would be good, because I feel like I'd get more done if I looked at my free time like I look at my work time...

But a bigger (or at least a more vocal) part of me thinks that I would drive myself crazy trying to stick to a schedule...I've never been much of a plan person...I've been much more of a wing it/see what I feel like doing at the time person.  But I also didn't used to be much of a stick-with-it / routine type of person, and I am finding that I am sticking with art journaling, doing my J52 and DL spreads every week with a vengeance and at work, if I don't do things in the order I usually do, my whole day is thrown into chaos.  What's the deal with that???  Am I really changing so much?  Is 30 year old me going to be that much different than me in my 20's?  Whoa, man, I'm freaking me out a little!

I guess, WAY deep down inside, I know the only solution is to try the schedule thing and see how it works...  scary, I know.  But nothing changes unless we do, right?  Ok, ok, I'll just do it...quit nagging me!  Sheesh!  I'm sure I'll let you know how it goes for me...because otherwise, you might be tempted to doubt my commitment and then where would we be? :)

Flap Flap

This week's prompt for Documented Life (you can read more about DL HERE) was "Add a flap to your flap."  I made my own DL journal out of a SmashBook I had lying around since forever and I actually had to add a flap to this page so I could add a flap to that flap.  My original flap (with the monthly calendar) is on the next page.  So flap flap flap. Flap.  (hehe)

This spread was inspired by Mindy Lacefield's work.  You can check her out at her site, TIM'S SALLY.  In my Pinterest adventures, I have seen her work before, but for whatever reason, it has been catching my eye a lot lately.  I think it's her use of color and the childlike quality present in her pieces.  I like that her faces can be sweet and haunting (or slightly sinister looking...at least to me) at the same time.  So here's what I did inspired by her:

I think it's the black eyes that make them appear a little menacing to me...menacing in a good way...if that's possible...

Can I just tell you, despite all my efforts in the past to make realistic looking drawings, that I LOVE this girl! In fact, I love this spread...love, love, LOVE IT!!!

Part of my love for this spread comes from that teal on the page...Liquitex Heavy Body Cobalt Teal, to be exact.  Never in my life, did I think I would be the proud owner of a $20 tube of paint...but here I am...thanks to my lovely and generous mom!  (Thank you, Mom!!!  Smooch!  Smooch!  Smooch!!!)  Oh, hubba hubba!  Isn't it just dreamy?  And the blue on the page (Ultramarine Blue, in case you were wondering) is from my very first bottle of Golden Fluid acrylics!  Can I just say, I feel like a true artist, because I actually used my fancy paints?  Instead of waiting for the 'perfect' time to use them, I made this time be the first time!  I am a little proud/patting myself on the back over the whole thing!  

I have my two fancy bottles of paint sitting next to me on the desk, and every three minutes or so, I look over at them with dreamy eyes and whisper "I love you" to them...

In the background, the card with the flower on it was something my older sister, Marian, made using UTEE (which is ultra thick embossing powder) and an image from the interwebs, I do believe...  In real life, this has a very thick, glossy coat of goodness over it that the camera just won't pick up...but trust me, pure GORGEOUSNESS!  And then, of course is my flap with flap...yay!

I think the childlike quality of this spread lends itself well to my theme...

"We've all had a piece of heaven, but how many of us knew when we had it in our hands?"
I wanted to paint a stylized version of the fancy flower/UTEE piece that my sister had made to kind of tie it in to the page, because they really didn't 'go' together.  I love how the leaf to the right looks especially.

...I guess in my head, my theme is kind of childish in itself.  Basically it's talking about wanting something you know you'll never have.  Hoping beyond hope for something that won't come to be....wishing on a star.  I think it's why I wanted those flowers on the page as well, because even though they're beautiful, they look a little melancholy too.  

Flaps completely flapped out, with some personal journaling on the back.  Also, check out those neat black 'doodles'!  Such a cool technique...it's actually writing that I mirrored.  If you turned it on the side, and covered up half, you should be able to read what I wrote (if you are so inclined)...it's a cool way to have secret words in your pages (although mine's not so secret anymore, I guess!).  All you do is take tracing paper (or any paper thin enough to see through), fold it in half and write whatever it is you want right along the fold.  Then flip the paper over and copy what you wrote (it will be backwards now).  Then open up your paper and you will have a mirror image of your writing.  You can leave all the spaces open or color all or some of them in, and it will give you different looks.  Fun stuff, right!?!

I wonder why we do things like that...why we want what we can't have?  Why do we have to want what doesn't want us back?  And even if we did get what we wanted, it would never be like the picture in our head anyway, so why do we keep dreaming?  All these feelings...they sure are a hassle...just saying...

The adult part of me knows all that.  I know that what I want to happen is not 'good' or 'right'.  I know that it would never be like I imagine.  I know that even wanting the things that I do...'letting' myself want them...is foolish.

But the kid in me...oh, the kid...

I spent most of my life being a tiny adult.  I did what I was told: what was 'good' and what was 'right'.  I was mature and responsible and stable and steady and all those other grown-up words.  All those little kid things ways got locked up inside of me...probably right next to wherever my emotions were hidden...and they never saw the sun.

But now that my emotions are loose in the world, it seems like my secret kid parts have escaped and are rampaging like wild rhinos.  

I, Sweets, the adult, know that it's wrong and stupid and dangerous to want what I want.  But my bull-headed inner child is yelling to the top of her lungs that she doesn't care.  She wants what she wants and she refuses to understand that she can't have it.  She doesn't care that it will only end up hurting.  She doesn't care that it's just a day dream and that it's not possible in this world.  She just wants it and she refuses to be suppressed until she gets what she wants.  No matter how many times I tell her that it's not going to happen, she screams back at me that there's hope.  There's always hope.  And no matter how much the adult in me knows that hope, for the most part, is a terrible lie, she will not accept that.  She just keeps hoping...

...and she just keeps standing there with her arms wide open, waiting for the things she wants to fall into them.

Recovering Girl

Oh, my darling peoples, I don't know what I'd do without you.  Your kind words never fail to make me feel better.  I love you all for taking the time to leave comments, most especially when I'm feeling tender (like I have been lately).  Your good words are helping me get through my rough patches and I wish I could express just how much that means to me...much more than even a blabber mouth like me can say.

To be truthful, I'm still feeling tender.  Someone at work today asked if I was feeling ok because I was so pale.  I love my emotions (at last), but they seem to be taking a toll on me.  I am really looking forward to Thanksgiving because I'll get a four-day weekend...I'm so, so ready for a four-day weekend.  I plan to sleep...and possibly make homemade sugar cookies with colorful icing...and then eat all of said sugar cookies by myself...but I'm also lazy, so maybe just the sleep part will prevail.  Sleep and art...yeah, that sounds like a winner...

I made another page in my Gregg journal.  At first I thought it was another depressing one...but I was staring at it for a while this morning and decided that it's actually more encouraging than I first gave it credit for:

She's more than just an injured girl.

I realized that there are a lot of things in this spread that look hopeful to me...subconscious hope is happening.  I realized that I painted the background green...green is my favorite color...I wouldn't put so much blatant green into something sad, because green is a happy color for me.  Then the flowers...stylized flowers in full bloom...another happy thing for me.  And even though the poor girl has some kind of brain injury, it's being treated.  She doesn't have some horrible, gaping wound (I don't know that I could draw a horrible, gaping wound...even if I wanted to...), she's starting to heal.

Looking at this recovering girl, I started thinking about all the things in my life I'm happy about.  I blame Deborah Weber for making me remember to be glad about good things...she's spending the month doing an abecedarium (which is a big word for an alphabetical list...I love big words...) on different aspects of gratitude.  You can read her blog HERE.  

While I mentally fight with myself about using the word "gratitude" (it's a long story), I have no qualms about taking the time to think about things in my life that I feel happy to experience.  Since I've felt so negative lately, I thought maybe it would be good to share a few of the positives too...gotta make sure to keep the balance, right?

Today's happy thoughts:

• Sugar cookies with colorful icing...ok, delicious cookies in general...
• which leads me to delicious food in general...Sunday, my husband and I made Oven Stew...I'm glad about Oven Stew...I'd be even more glad if there had been left-overs...but I digress...
• Big, fancy words...
• I'm glad to have art and other creative things in my life...that's an every single day glad thing for me.
• I'm happy to have met wonderful and supportive people who share my love of creative things.
• I'm glad to have the internet...which is really a creative tool for me...it gives me inspiration from others, lets me find out how to do things (tutorials/patterns), lets me veg out when I need to...let's me share my art and my words with people who care about the same things...people who make me feel special...I really love the internet...
• I'm glad to have four-day weekends...especially now that I have a job that actually pays me for them!
• I'm really happy that some stranger left a really great dog at my house for no reason...Fusco (or as he is affectionately known now Fuss-butt) is too awesome...I'll never understand why they left him, but I'll always be happy that they did.
• I'm happy about milk.  I don't know what it is with me recently, but I've been drinking milk like nobody's business.  I swear I could drink my weight in milk every day if I didn't restrain myself...right now I'm going through a gallon every two-three days.  I don't know why I want it so bad, but egads, am I happy about milk right now.
• I'm happy I've felt truly loved by good people, in the past and currently.
• I'm happy about music...that's another every day happy thing...
• I'm glad I've got my brain...it's weird and random, completely fun and completely terrifying...(occasionally those two things at the same time!)...I like that I don't always think how other people think.

That's not the whole list, but it's a good start for sure...I guess another thing I should add to the list is that I'm happy I have so many things to be genuinely happy about....yes, I really am GENUINELY happy about milk right now!  Despite the fact that I'm tender and sad and angry, I can still see so many positives.  It's not all doom and gloom.  Sure there's some mushy stuff rolling around in my brain, but it's got a lot of competition from bright, shiny, fantastic things, little things and big things too.  

What about you?  What are you happy to have in your life today?

Kate...Face 25 of 29

Face #25 is Kate:

"If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased."
-Katharine Hepburn

This is yet another page inspired by things I've seen on Pinterest, both the image and the quote.  I am really in love with this girl...or as Katharine Hepburn would say, "RAEL-LY".  I love her sassy hands on hips, and the expression on her face...she just looks like she's determined to do what SHE wants to do!

I've always been a fan of old movies, and Katharine Hepburn is one of my favorite actresses.  I think in all the parts she played, she really just played herself...and, to me, she must have been an interesting bird indeed.  Plus, we have (in large part) good ole Kate to thank for making it acceptable/fashionable for women to wear pants...which I am a gigantic fan of...HIP HIP HOORAY!!!

Until tomorrow, my fellow pants-wearing friends...

Fade to Black...Face 12 of 29

Face 12 of 29!  Here she is:

They can't all be winners...she's not that bad, but she's not that good either...I know I can do better...I shall try, try again!

This girl was inspired by something I pinned on Pinterest forever ago that I really adore:

I don't know who made this face, the Pinterest link is just to the image, not to a website, so if anyone knows, I'd love to be able to credit the artist and to see more of their work!

I like the original very much...mine is meh...  I was just not that into it for her...  I was originally going to just do the hair in black acrylic and the face either left completely white or use my watercolors to paint her...my acrylic skills tend to be minimal.  But instead I used the acrylics and painted her and I think that's why I feel so blase about my version.  Perhaps I will have to make a second attempt at her in the future sometime.

I'm keeping this post short...I had a rather crapola day today and I feel the need to go rip things and smash them onto a page and just have an angry freak out on some sort of throwaway page...so I'm off to throw a temper tantrum.  

Don't forget: Please follow the blog (I'm not usually so moody, I swear!) and come back on the 29th for the glorious surprise giveaway!  <3

Icads 21-24

What a busy weekend I had!  (That's my lame way to say sorry I didn't post for a couple days...)  In my defense, I actually did have a seemingly action packed weekend.  

There was mailing of mail art.  There was going to Michaels craft store (twice).  There was a MONSTROUS amount of cleaning.  This is what took up the most time...egad, so much time...but the craft room looks AWESOME...and to a lesser extent, so do the kitchen and bathroom.  I mean, how awesome can they look...there's hardly any art supplies in those other rooms at all!  

And there was also art...I managed to get my ICAD cards done.  I also started an art journal page, but I'm not finished yet, so that will have to wait for another post.

So anyways, ICAD cards...  

They are all on 3x5 index cards.  I managed to somehow get confused on the prompts for each day.  I was doing the prompts in order, but I messed that up (no clue how).  I did do 4 cards in 4 days, so that counts anyway, I think.

For the first one, the prompt was 'owl'.  I tried using the video found HERE to paint my card.  The video is really cool, and I could listen to that guy talk all day long.  My girls on Facebook and I have decided I am totally going to marry him, because he has an awesome accent, he's pretty much adorable, he's clumsy (watch the video...he drops something...bwa-ha-ha...I love it!) and he likes art...  How perfect can one person be?  I don't know how my current husband will feel about this, but I'd like to think he'll understand.  Besides, he doesn't have an adorable accent at all, so his opinion is pretty much meaningless...  

Here's the card:

This video is really good.  The man (with the fabulous accent) makes you really feel like you can do what he's doing, and not in a fruit loopy, hippy dippy way (Lawd, I hate when they get all fruit loopy), but just in a nice "it's easy, just try it" way.  With that accent, I believe whatever he says...  Anyway, because I'm a rebel, I added some highlights with white to the owl and to branches especially (in the video, he just has you do the silhouette).  I like the way the branches turned out...the owl, not so much...he looks more cartoonish to me than the branches do.

Next is my ICAD for the prompt "list of pros and cons"...see, I told you, I got all out of whack.  Anyway, because lists are my mortal enemy, I decided that instead of pros and cons, I would just do a 'con' and decided to make a picture of Bonnie Parker, of Bonnie and Clyde fame:

Here's my extremely stylized version of Faye Dunaway as Bonnie Parker.  

Then I made this card, for the prompt 'lyrics or quote', using a video by Jennibellie, which you can find HERE.  Basically, the idea was to 'paint' using string of some kind.  I used embroidery floss:

Once I put down the string, it reminded me of Liza Minelli in Cabaret.  Mostly nowadays, when I think of Liza Minelli, I think of her in Arrested Developement...."I got a case of the dizzies." HAHAHA! 

Finally, I made this card for the prompt 'grocery list':

...because we all know art supplies are more important than food.  These are a few of the things I got at Michaels this weekend (minus the index cards): a set of black Microns, a set of Twinkling H2Os, 5 colors of screen printing ink for fabric, 6 different colors of Silks acrylic glazes, a couple different Sharpies, and some Mod Podge matte sealer.  I got some other things (during the second trip) which didn't make it to the 'grocery' list: some Golden soft gel medium (matte), some Adirondack acrylic paint daubers, and some new paint brushes.  Over all, a fabulous haul.  I've been good for a long time, so I went a little nuts...I'm like a binge buyer when it comes to supplies...nothing, nothing, nothing, EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE...  Shame on me!

Page at last and icad too

I finally did an art journal page last night.  FINALLY!  From start to finish (thanks to my beloved industrial strength heat gun)!  And, I suppose, technically two pages.  *insert gigantic sigh of relief here*

I decided that I would start to watch some videos for art journaling and see if I could learn some new techniques, be reminded of ones I've not used for a while, and even to see if I saw something that would inspire me to create a brilliant technique of my own.  

So, last night I sat down and queued up Pinterest and started searching...and then ingeniously forgot to pin the video I watched, so I sadly can't share it with you.  When I stumble across that video again, I promise I will put up the link...and I'll remember to pin the video next time so I can share it with you right away!

At any rate, I watched a video (it was a lady who did a Dyan Reavely inspired video, using Dyan's products/style)and then tried to copy what the woman in the video did.  She did some things I didn't/couldn't do (because I didn't have all the supplies she did) and I added in my own touches as well to get the pages to be 'finished' and more my style.  And here they are:

Started off by spaying the page with fresh lime and black marble Dylusions (I notice people using this color combo a lot, and it looks good when they do it, but I HATE it when I try it...)  Then I used one of Dyan's stencils (which I do have, but don't know the name of...it's the one with the flower edge and dots in the middle) and sprayed through it with the same color dylusions as above.  And then I decided (she did not do this in the video) to use some white acrylic paint and went through the stencil with it as well (because the page was VERY dark in places, and I didn't like that.   Then, in the video, the woman uses one of Dyan Reavely's stamps on a separate piece of paper, and then glues it on the page, but I don't have any of her stamps, so I just drew a girl instead, colored her in with Dylusions and pasted her in.  I used postbox red Dylusions sprayed through the same stencil on the left page to tie in with the headband of the girl. Then I used the mini "Mixed Up Alphabet" stencil and traced out the letters on the left page ("You gotta be kidding me"), with Pitt pen and then colored it in with acrylic paints in yellow and in turquoise to try to tie in the girl a little better...she was sticking out like a sore thumb pretty badly.  Then I took some black acrylic paint and added in the words on the right page ("Can I just be over it now?") because there was too much white going on.  Then I added the dots with turquoise and black acrylic in some random places, outlined some stuff as well.  I used black faux-latos around the girl and then a sparkly peachy one to color in her face a little more (it was a VERY stark white before)...then I took that same sparkly peach and went over the whole page randomly.  And then it was bedtime!

I also got my ICADS done for yesterday and today, just didn't have time to share them.  Both are on 3x5 cards.

This is the one for the 19th, the prompt was 'summer':

I saw a picture of this on Pinterest, and it had these really bright awesome super saturated colors, and I thought that looked pretty summery, so I tried to recreate it on a card.  I REALLY LOVE how the colors look on this.  (Used watercolor and Pitt pen)

And here's today's card, with the prompt of 'poem'

:

"Faces of other people follow me around the room."  This is acrylic paint and then I glued down some faces I made using paperclay (the blueish white ones) and Martha Stewart Crafter's Clay (the purple ones).  I painted their eyes, lips, and cheeks with acrylic.  The poem this is from is below in it's entirety.  I wrote it and it's a double alphabet poem, minus the letter 'x', because there are just not that many 'x' words out there to use...  I always end up cheating and using words that sound like 'x' at the beginning...extreme, extra, etc.

"The Firing Synapses"

And you will always

Be with me, beloved.

Closed eyes call and you answer in 

Dreams that keep you dear to me, 

Ever in my thoughts, even where you shouldn't be.

Faces of other people follow me around the room.

Giddy laughter covers the gloom in me.

Half of my life rots with you, hallow in the grave.

Indecision corrodes the rest.  If only you had not...

Justice, however, won't be served and I'm always jolted back.

Killing me slowly, they keep it up.

Love, they never seem to let me alone.

My memories of you are constantly interrupted,

Not by anything I care for, nothing important,

Only for the sake of this half life I lead.  This open wound

Pouring, barely enough left to keep me going.  Nothing easing the pain.

Quietly, life drains out of me...quick enough I suppose.

Ready or not, when the time comes, you can't resist.

Sometimes I wonder where you are now.  Sickly

thoughts try to make sense of it.

Useless.  I know I will never understand

while I still breath, while I still think, 

exactly what happens, what to expect.

You yearn to know or else try to forget the question.

Zapping your brain, the synapses zero in or else try to disconnect.

So there you have it...if you'd like to read more of my poetry (some is pretty decent, I swear!) you can check it out HERE.

ICAD 18 and...did I show you this already?

So two things to show you, that I made quite a while ago, but don't think I showed before.  They're in my scrappy pocket calender journal that I made.  If I shared these before, please forgive the repeat, I have tired brain...

Easy peasy wimpy drawing...I just was pretty happy with the lettering on this one...usually I hate my lettering, because of the 12-year-old boy handwriting, but I am ok with this one.  The lyrics are from the song below:

This is the song, by Fiona Apple, called Werewolf.  I think she has interesting lyrics and she did the artwork for the cover of the album, which I think is pretty cool! :

This is on the page opposite the one above, and Fiona Apple lyrics inspired this one too.  What can I say, I get off on tangents...

This is my actual handwriting.  Horrifying, I know...  I like the way the feet are crossed in this little sketch.

This is the song that the lyrics above are from (for the record, weirdest video ever, but I love it...it's like a big crazy dream within a dream thing...that's my take anyway) :

Also, I think that gal has an interesting face.  I will probably draw it one day...


And lastly, but not leastly, there is my ICAD card for today.

It's on a 3x5 and the prompt today was "Italy":

I did a drawing of  La Bocca della Verita, or 'the mouth of truth', which is in the church of Santa Maria
Cosmedin Rome, Italy.  I don't think this is the best sketch in the world, but the black eyes and mouth do make his look appropriately menacing, I think.

As soon as I saw the prompt for Italy, I thought of "Roman Holiday" with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck.  It's my favorite Audrey Hepburn movie, I do believe.  Anyway, one of the scenes that the movie is famous for is the scene with 'the mouth of truth' in it, and that's why I chose this to draw.  

Here's the scene:

Just an interesting tidbit, Audrey Hepburn was unaware of what Gregory Peck was going to do in this scene, so her reaction above is her actual reaction.  You just witnessed a young Audrey Hepburn freak the crap out...that thought is hilarious to me!

Sick

More from the br sketchbook today...

I've been noticing a lot of sketches that have 'extra' lines lately...  

For instance, this GORGEOUS piece by Abigail Larson: 

I love, love, love this style.  I've seen other people do similar things, but this lady's stuff just screams at my eyeballs to love it!  You can see more of Abigail Larson's work HERE.  You can also support her art and buy (me a hoodie or) something HERE.  I don't know this gal, but I REALLY enjoy her work very much and wanted to share it.

So anyway, I've had this 'sketchy' style with the 'extra' lines on my mind for quite a while, and thought I'd try a quick version of it:

"I feel sick and tired, likely because I'm always trying to fit a square peg in a round hole..."

Clearly, I need A LOT more work, but I love the look so much I know I will be revisiting it again and again so that I can get better.  I think I did it a little backwards (aka all wrong) in this piece...I think I may have figured out how to get better sketch lines and therefore a better end result...  I'm going to be experimenting more...  Practice, practice, practice...till your sick of practicing, right?  It's the only way to improve!

I also got my ICAD card done for today.  The prompt was "junk mail" and the card is 3x5:

"I pretend that I'm happy.  It's a lie.  I'm sick of always saying goodbye."  This is water soluble crayolas (the yellow and blue) and then the girl and the green piece are both from the same junk mail envelope.  I was looking at the window of the envelope and thought it looked kind of like a car window, so I stuck the cute little kid in the window and viola.  Recently, I have been seeing a ton of really cool ideas/uses for junk mail envelopes that have the clear plastic window...people are amazingly creative!

The Process and the Man

I woke up this morning, sad because I had to go back to work today after the long weekend.  *insert my Lucille Ball/I Love Lucy type "WAAA!" here*  I popped over to my blogger dashboard thingie, and lo and behold, I was pleasantly surprised to see that I have 2000 page views (exactly 2000 too, which was a pretty neat coincidence)!  Woo Hoo!  That's totally awesome! I just had 1000 page views just a short while ago, and now we've hit 2000!  What?!?  I am so excited!  I still didn't want to go to work today (I wanted to stay home and do celebratory dances all day long), but either way, my sad face disappeared and perma-smile took over!  Thanks everybody!

Today, I thought I might show you how I come up with my faces that I draw...the condensed version anyway.  One day, I am going to remember to take a lot of pictures during the process and get you the long version.  I tend to get caught up in the excitement and forget to take pictures, but I am going to eventually strap the camera to my forehead and remember.  At any rate, today you get the short version...

The important thing to remember here is that I am not an expert by any means.  This is my current method, and you have to find what works for you.  I'm definitely still learning myself.  But, from where I started, I'm much improved and I thought that this info might help somebody...

The short version starts with me finding a good reference picture.  Most of the time, I use my trusty Pinterest account to do this.  You can check me out on Pinterest by clicking the button in the left side bar of the blog, or by searching "Sweet Red Clover" on Pinterest.  Don't do it now, or you'll get sucked into the vortex of amazingness that is Pinterest and forget to read the rest of this post...I know this because I do that at least once a day...so wait till you're done reading, then go look at it...and enjoy the pleasure spiral that is Pinterest...  

On Pinterest, I have a board called "Photograph", which is where I put the images I've seen that really stand out to me in one way or another.  I like to use pictures that really catch my eye.  I keep this board in mind whenever I'm online, because you never know when your pin might come in handy.  I've found the best pictures on random sites that have nothing to do with art or even that particular photo...sometimes they're just ads in the side bar!  But that doesn't matter, because these are images that I can get excited about.  

I scan through my "Photograph" board until I find one that fits whatever mood I am in that day.  Sometimes I can't find an image on my board that I want to use, so I go searching on Pinterest for interesting faces till I find one.  For me, the 'interesting' part is important.  If I REALLY like the reference photo, I've got a better shot at making the piece it inspires interesting (at least in my eyes).  And interesting doesn't always mean 'pretty' either.  But that's a whole different topic in and of itself, isn't it?

Here's the picture I used as my reference this time:

Hello, handsome!  I liked this guy's sweater and his cute little ears and strong jawline...his forehead is a bit weird looking to me, which is probably the real reason I liked this picture.  I like things that are a little 'off' to me...I don't want perfect, I want interesting.

After I find the right picture, I do a simple face sketch...this is the part where I really need to remember to take pictures next time.  This is where I take a pencil and lay out the face shape.  I start with (usually) an oval, adding a line down the center vertically and three lines across horizontally.  Many people do their guidelines as half, half, and half.  I do mine half, half, and a third.  This means that I draw a line half the distance from the top of the oval to the bottom of the oval (this is where the eyes will be), half the distance from that 'eye' line to the bottom of the oval (this is where the bottom of the nose will be), and a third of the distance from that 'nose' line to the bottom of the oval (which is where the mouth will be).  Depending on the particular face, the proportions are a little different for each drawing, but I've found that half, half and a third is what I like the best in most cases.

After I draw that out, I add simple shapes for the eyes, nose and mouth.  This is just to get them where they should be, not getting them in fine detail...that comes later...  Then I adjust the outer oval, because nobody's face is a perfect oval shape...or at least nobody I've come across so far  Among other things, the guy above has a more squared off jaw, and his face dips in where his eyebrows are.  I gave my guy a hat, because he looked cold and because I couldn't see his hair, and, to be honest, hair is hard for me...I get bored with hair fast...both my own (hello ponytail!) and hair to draw.  When I get the face shape to a place I'm happy with, then I adjust the shapes of the features...adding in the details of what they really look like.  There is A LARGE AMOUNT of drawing and erasing that goes on in this stage.  So much erasing...  I've found a really good tip concerning erasing somewhere along the way, which is if you're not happy with a particular line, draw the new line, then erase the old one...I had always done this in reverse before, but leaving the old line in is a visual reminder of what I didn't like about it and helps me to not repeat the same mistake twenty times.    

Once I'm relatively happy with what I've got, I either go over it in waterproof pen or (as has been the case lately) I spray some kind of fixative on it so the pencil won't smudge.  I use hairspray because it works and I am too poor to buy fixative.  Hairspray will eventually yellow, so if that's a problem for you go buy some fancy fixative...and buy an extra can for me... 

I wish I could find the link for a video I watched on YouTube where this FABULOUS lady was doing a tutorial on how she draws faces.  If/When I find it, I'll post the link.  Anyway, she was talking about drawing and said something to the effect of: "I don't like to draw things exactly how I see them.  If you want an exact copy, why not just take a picture?  I like to put my own spin on things, put myself into the drawing."  Not her exact words, but the point is there.  I like this because a) it makes a lot of sense and b) it makes up for the fact that I am not ABLE to draw an exact copy...yet.  So, if you get frustrated that your drawing doesn't look exactly like your photo, just tell yourself that you are "putting your spin on things" and keep practicing. 

So here's what my pencil drawing looked like when I was done:

Not an exact copy by far...but my spin on the photo has been spun...

Next up is color.  I do a lot of 'fixing' with color...probably more than I should.  I think that I need to spend more time in the pencil drawing part if I want to improve further, but I digress...

I am a big fan of watercolor, because you can still see your drawing that you spent so much time on.  Acrylic and oil, which are also great, are harder in my eyes, because you are getting rid of your pencil marks...and you have no guidelines once those are gone. Watercolor is much easier to me.  And you can build color, starting out really light and slowly working to dark, which has helped me in learning more about (and  putting into practice) highlights and shading.

The most important thing I've learned concerning color is to use a light hand.  You can always add more, it's not so easy to take it away.  The second most important thing (especially with watercolors it seems) is to start with lighter colors then go to darker colors and it's for the same reason...you can build up with your light colors and that might be enough to get you where you want to be, whereas if you threw that dark color in, it's hard to take it back...

So, after much explanation in getting to this point, here is my man:

The journaling got cut off a little, but it reads: "I had so much more to say to you.  What do I do now?"

So, clearly, I don't know everything.  *insert your shocked gasp here*  But I thought you might like to hear how I do my faces.  I've learned a lot by watching other people, and by being willing to practice over and over and over and over (and over and over...), and I'm always searching for ways to do better.  

It is a complete understatement to say that I love making these faces.  Perhaps it's because I'm looking for a personal connection, and so drawing something with eyes and ears and a mouth is my way of finding that.  I can 'say' things to these drawings that I can't say to live people.  I can make them tell me what I need to hear...which kind of makes me sound like a crazy person, I know.  What I mean is that when I'm done with a drawing, I get this mental clarity...I figure out what I've been thinking about deep in my mind that I might not have gotten to understand otherwise.  I don't usually start out with anything particular in my head, other than wanting to draw.  Even if I do begin with something in mind, where I end up could be a totally different place.

For instance, the man I shared today.  In the beginning, I just wanted to see if I could draw a man...this guy is my first attempt at a man since I really started trying to draw in earnest.  But the more I drew, the more he became something else.  See that reddish hair?  I grabbed up the red before I even knew what I was doing.  And once that got on the page, two distinct things came into my head.  There are things that have gotten taken away from me, and I wasn't ready to lose them; I wasn't done with them.  And I've been looking for ways to get them back, even though it's impossible.  And I can't seem to shake them, despite the fact that I know it's over and nothing can change.  So what do I do now?  I guess that's my big cosmic question to the universe...what do I do now?  And maybe someday, I'll be drawing another face, and the answer will come out on the page.  Until that happens, I guess I'll just keep drawing face and listening to what they have to say.

Countdown, Day 4: The Outing

I didn't get to do very much today for my creative time, just a little pencil drawing that I'm not done with...but I missed out for a good reason!

When I got home from work today, my husband asked me if I wanted to drive up to the lake.  Even though it's only about 20 minutes away from our house, we haven't driven up to the lake in a couple years.  I don't know how time runs away like that!  It was a big surprise for me, because my husband does not tend to be the most spontaneous person.  Usually there's a couple weeks worth of time between him mentioning doing something and us actually doing it.  It's one of the things that drive me crazy about him!  If I think of something to do, I just go do it; there doesn't need to be a plan.  It's one of the things about me that drives him crazy!

So here are a couple pictures so that you can see what will hopefully be inspiring some art in the next couple days:

Isn't it beautiful?  This is the lake, Lake Watauga.  It's a man-made lake, with two dams, Wilber Dam and Watauga Dam.  I'm so silly, I didn't take any pictures of the dams for you all, but they're there, I promise!

Another lake view.  Something that's kind of neat about the lake is that to make it, they flooded a town (Butler, Tennessee).  Apparently, you can go scuba diving in the lake and the houses and other buildings are still standing under the water!  The funny thing is that there is another nearby town named Butler...I guess those original Butler people weren't ready to give up on that town name! 

We were lucky (lucky ducks, if you will...ha ha ha) enough to see this little family...the dad was nearby, but wouldn't get close enough for me to get a good shot of the whole group.  They were all just quacking away...it was so cute!  It's funny to see the little ducklings going into the water; it was so sweet!  The mother let the babies get very close to us, just a few feet away!  

And then we saw THIS family of Canada Geese.  There were only 3 adult geese and 13 babies!  That doesn't seem normal to me...usually I see a bunch of adults and a couple babies in the group.  They were cute ...they would run and stick their little wings up in the air...I love to see them do that!  The geese were NOT as trusting as the ducks...I was trying to get a better picture of them, but no matter how slowly I walked, they would walk away just as slowly.  I've seen geese go after people (a lot faster than ducks will), so I wasn't going to push my luck!  I just zoomed in as much as I could and had to be satisfied with that!

Then we saw this log in the water.  I tried to convince my husband to go in and get it for me, but he wasn't very willing.  The water is still very cold...and he can't swim.  I told him I'd hold his legs and just kind of swing the rest of him toward it, but he didn't think that was a good idea either...for some reason...  I was very sad, because I think it would have made a cool table or seat for our porch.  I bet it would have weighed a ton anyway and I would have had to drag it up a steep hill to the parking area.  I'm still a little sad about it though, I'm not gonna lie!  On the positive side, I did find a much smaller piece of drift wood, so I brought it home and will be doing something creative with it...I have a couple ideas, but I'm not quite set on which thing I'll do just yet...  It will be a mystery till then, I guess!

I wanted to take a picture of these stairs, just because I think they're neat.  I've liked them since the first time I ever went to Watauga Lake about 10 years ago.  I don't know what it is, but I just love them and had to share!

This is another view of the lake.  That blurry thing in the water was a guy on a jet ski.  I wish we had still been down by the water when he came though...I would have asked him to drag that log over to the shore!  If you look to the right of the picture, you can see a little piece of Wilber Dam.  Watauga Dam looks more like a normal Dam...Wilber looks like a big pile of gravel.

As you can see in this picture, the lake is not usually this high.  We've gotten quite a bit of rain so far this year, and this is the highest I've ever seen the lake!  You can see the trees coming out of the water.  There is about 15-20 feet of rocks from where those trees are to the edge of the water.  Like I said, it's REALLY high!  My husband tried to teach me how to skip rocks across the water, but I am an epic failure at it!  No matter how hard I try, I can just get them to skip once...maybe I just need more practice.

As we were leaving, this little guy came out of the forest and was wondering around.  The picture is dark and blurry because my husband rolled up the window while I was trying to get the picture.  He was convinced that the raccoon was going to jump in the car and give us both rabies or something...so he rolled up the window and sped away.  I don't know why he had to speed away, it's not like the raccoon was going to open the car door or anything!  I guess he just likes to play it safe.  I'm the opposite.  I was trying to open the car door and get out so I could take a better picture.  I think that means that if one of us does get rabies in the end, it will probably be me!

Getting to go to the lake was a nice surprise for me!  It was definitely a fun way to end a work day.  I don't know why we don't do things like this more often.  I guess life gets in the way of fun stuff sometimes.  But today proved to me that it doesn't have to be that way!  I will work on getting out in the world a little more, and not be such a hermit, huddled over my desk doing arts and crafts.  It's nice to get out and and breath fresh air into the lungs and fresh inspiration into the brain...and trust me, my poor little brain needs all the help it can get!