That was...different

Hi!  How's it going?

I'm sitting here, drinking a Coke and singing along, LOUD and off-key, to Adele (if you sing loud enough, it makes up for the fact that you're bad at it, right?), trying to tell myself I want to go to work and not back to bed...  This is a lie I tell myself basically every single week day...

I've got my Journal 52 (J52) and Documented Life Project (DLP) pieces to share with you today, but FIRST...I was invited to be a part of a blog hop by Trece over at SIMPLYTRECE!  Thank you so much for thinking of me!  I was/am SO excited...my very first blog hop!  Yay!

So, for the hop, I had to answer 4 questions:

1. What am I working on?

2. How does my work differ from others of it's genre?

3. Why do I create what I do?

4. How does your creating process work?

And so I thought I would have another first and make a video where I flip through some of my journals and answer the above questions...so I did!  

Let me just say in advance, sorry for the weird portrait format of the video...if you make it full screen, it's not quite so bad...but I realized afterward that I could have done it in landscape format...for shame!  Also, apologies for all the "and, er, ums" and nervous laughter...but I do eventually get through the questions, with a relative amount of intelligence....so without further ado:

So, there you go, my first video...I am working on more videos right now, which will hopefully be a little easier to watch...much like art, I imagine it takes time to get better with doing the videos, so hopefully, I will get better at them...

That video is my excuse for being a little late in posting my art for last week...so let's get to that:

First, for J52, the prompt was "Passion".  What are you passionate about?

For me, passion is a hard word.  I mean, I'm passionate about things...art, sleeping, chocolate milk ...there's more, I'm sure.  

But to me, passion is a frustrating word, much like expectation...because it tends to lead to disappointment.  Passion is one of those emotions that are a little more scary than the others.  Because it kind of includes two people.  Passion is an emotion that you risk rejection over.

If you've got passionate feelings for another person, there's a chance that they don't feel that way about you.  One-sided love is a terrible, heart wrenching feeling.

Even if you've got passionate feelings about a cause or a thing, you run that same risk of rejection.  Because if you're passionate about something, you're going to talk about it...a lot...and maybe you discover that you're the only one who is passionate and to everyone else, the thing you care SO MUCH about is just a bore.  Then maybe you start to doubt your own judgement...if no one else cares, can it really be that important?

For a long time, I rejected getting too excited over anything for that very reason.  Strong opinions, strong emotions, convictions, passions...all of that was too tough, too scary.  So I didn't let myself be open about things.  If I don't reach out, I can't be rejected.  Nobody wants to be rejected.

Living like that is lonely and it is boring, and I got tired of being bored and lonely.

So now, I let myself be passionate over the things that I feel passionate about.

One thing that I got passionate about is abstract art...or trying to make abstract art.  Ever since it was a prompt for Journal 52, I have had this obsession with trying to make abstract art...or, I should say, GOOD abstract art.  (I still haven't been able to reach that goal...)

So for this week's "Passion" prompt. I decided to try to make an abstract piece of two people kissing, and here's what I ended up with:

Still not there...

The one thing I like about the page is the squiggly lines in the faces.  I had the thought of how some people think/used to think that when you kissed you exchanged souls or some such thing...  And I thought that it was an interesting idea that when we get passionate about a person, or a cause, that we are willing to share ourselves fully with whatever it is we are passionate about.  That's what those squiggle lines represent to me...

Of course, you may not see that...you might instead see a commercial for those Breath-rite strip things...  "If you want to kiss someone, you're gonna need open airways..."  Hahaha...

For DLP, the prompt was to "Use book pages or text paper" and here's my spread:

"Well that was...different."

I covered the whole spread in book pages from an old Spanish/English dictionary I had and then sprayed it with Dylusions.  And then I couldn't figure out what else to do...

So I thought I would try using Coarse Texture Gel (on the left page) and Gesso (on the right) over top of the sprayed page to see if it would seep through.  Both did a surprisingly good job at keeping the bottom layer of Dylusions (the orange/yellow/pink layer) from seeping through enough to mess with the top layer (the greens).  And then I was stuck again for something to do...

So I stopped working on the page and decided to do the first lesson of Willowing's free "Art, Heart, Healing" class, in which she shows you how to do her style of face.  When I was done, I realized I could just add the face I'd made into the journal using some washi tape.  I added washi on the other side to try to tie both pages together, and, since I had my face portion of the page spread, I knew it was time for words.

I am excited to try this background technique using different colors than orange and green.  I think this technique would lend itself well to aged colors as opposed to such bright ones...

For the letters, I sprayed some pages that were torn from my beloved Gregg journal, sprayed them with Dylusions, and, when they were dry, cut out the letters.

My version of a Tam/Willowing face.

For some reason, I think my girl looks a little sarcastic, and that's why I chose the journaling that I did.  It's kind of a jab at myself for being a little too cocky recently.

Before I make a move, I try to figure out all the possible outcomes.  I think it's smart to be as prepared as you can be.  But, the fact is, that sometimes, despite all the preparations you may make, people can still surprise you.  

That happened for me recently, and it kind of knocked me off my high horse.  This spread is to remind me that I don't have all the answers, and I don't always know what another person's reaction will be...no matter how well I know the person.

So, that's it for this time...hopefully the video wasn't too horrific to watch and I am really excited to try to get better at making them...the one I'm working on now is for sharing how I make my faces!  I've done picture tutorials before, but it's hard to put everything into still photos, so maybe the videos will help!  

ICAD, Art Journal and Canvas Hooray!

First, a big thanks to everybody for helping me hit 3,000 page views!  You guys made me do the happy dance today!  It wasn't too long ago that I was doing the happy dance over 2,000...I am going to have to start thinking about some kind of giveaway for when I hit 5,000...it's going to creep up on me and I'll be unprepared if I'm not careful!  If anybody has any ideas on that, I'm open to suggestions...

So I got to do some artsy stuff today, and I'm super excited about it!  I'm always super excited, aren't I?  It's like I'm bipolar, but only ever visit the one pole, you know what I mean?  

Up first is my ICAD card, which I'm cheating on and doing two prompts in one card, because I messed up my order royally and now I'm just confused and scared!  Help!  Help!  

This card is 3x5 and the prompts were 'your name in block letters' and 'logo':

I think I failed at block letters...I don't think there are supposed to be curves in block letters...but I didn't research that first, and so I ended up with this.   I did get to use some of my FANTABULOUS Silks acrylic glazes to color it in...I am not one for glittery things usually, but EGADS! I love those things so much!  This whole week for ICAD is bound to be a do-over, because I just went cuckoo or something.  The 'logo' part is my stylized little red clover.  I've used it before, hit and miss, but I like it quite a lot and I think it will be my signature from now on, mostly because it keeps me from having to sign my name in my terrible 12-year-old boy handwriting...  (Who am I kidding?  Even 12-year-old boys have better handwriting than me!)

Next I did a page (or really a two-page spread) in one of my art journals:

This is not my usual thing...  The colors and the collage-y look are both out of the norm for me.  This was kind of an experiment page.  I used some muslin I had painted black (I painted the muslin forever ago, testing out some textile medium I had bought.)  On the right page, behind the stamped image (the one that is not torn) is the scrap piece of paper I used underneath the muslin when I painted it...isn't that a neat effect how the paint came through all randomly?  I think it's a pretty nifty pattern!  The stamped images were also me testing things out.  Same stamp, in different inks (some images then covered in perfect pearls) on pages from my old Spanish/English dictionary.  I colored some of the pages using alcohol inks as well to make them look more aged...they were already pretty old, but not quite as darkly antique colored as they are now.  The journaling says: "I think somewhere along the way I have been torn apart and I must spend the rest of my life piecing myself back together." 

And finally, the thing I am REALLY super excited about:

Woo Hoo!!!   My bird at sunrise painting!  He's on an 8x10 canvas.  I would just like to mention that I do NOT like working on canvases.  I know it's because I'm just not used to them, but ARG!  I much prefer my safe and easy watercolor paper!  ...but I will keep practicing on the canvases.   One day, I will probably look back at this post and say what a weenie I was for not liking to work on canvas.  As much as I disdained working on the canvas, I am so very, very happy with how the painting turned out!  And look, I even used my little red clover to sign it with!  Squeeee!  It makes me so happy!

I did the painting along with the completely awesome (and very nice) Marc Charles from Painting with Marc on YouTube.  Some darling amigas from one of the Facebook groups I am in suggested watching his first video (I made an ICAD card using what I learned in the video...you can see the result in my last post).  Now, I am HOOKED!  

Here is the video for your viewing pleasure...and listening pleasure (I LOVE his accent!  *sigh*  It's just delicious, I swear I could listen to him read the dictionary!):

He does such a great job of teaching you how to do things!  I am enamored with him and his art and his style of teaching!  He kindly accepted a Facebook friending from me, and, let me just say, he is such a sweetie pie!  So go subscribe to his channel on YouTube and go friend him (and me, of course!) on Facebook and see just how wonderful he really is!  I think I am going to end up doing all of his tutorials, so be forewarned: You will be hearing about Marc again!

So those are my major accomplishments for the day...what did you get into?

Icads 21-24

What a busy weekend I had!  (That's my lame way to say sorry I didn't post for a couple days...)  In my defense, I actually did have a seemingly action packed weekend.  

There was mailing of mail art.  There was going to Michaels craft store (twice).  There was a MONSTROUS amount of cleaning.  This is what took up the most time...egad, so much time...but the craft room looks AWESOME...and to a lesser extent, so do the kitchen and bathroom.  I mean, how awesome can they look...there's hardly any art supplies in those other rooms at all!  

And there was also art...I managed to get my ICAD cards done.  I also started an art journal page, but I'm not finished yet, so that will have to wait for another post.

So anyways, ICAD cards...  

They are all on 3x5 index cards.  I managed to somehow get confused on the prompts for each day.  I was doing the prompts in order, but I messed that up (no clue how).  I did do 4 cards in 4 days, so that counts anyway, I think.

For the first one, the prompt was 'owl'.  I tried using the video found HERE to paint my card.  The video is really cool, and I could listen to that guy talk all day long.  My girls on Facebook and I have decided I am totally going to marry him, because he has an awesome accent, he's pretty much adorable, he's clumsy (watch the video...he drops something...bwa-ha-ha...I love it!) and he likes art...  How perfect can one person be?  I don't know how my current husband will feel about this, but I'd like to think he'll understand.  Besides, he doesn't have an adorable accent at all, so his opinion is pretty much meaningless...  

Here's the card:

This video is really good.  The man (with the fabulous accent) makes you really feel like you can do what he's doing, and not in a fruit loopy, hippy dippy way (Lawd, I hate when they get all fruit loopy), but just in a nice "it's easy, just try it" way.  With that accent, I believe whatever he says...  Anyway, because I'm a rebel, I added some highlights with white to the owl and to branches especially (in the video, he just has you do the silhouette).  I like the way the branches turned out...the owl, not so much...he looks more cartoonish to me than the branches do.

Next is my ICAD for the prompt "list of pros and cons"...see, I told you, I got all out of whack.  Anyway, because lists are my mortal enemy, I decided that instead of pros and cons, I would just do a 'con' and decided to make a picture of Bonnie Parker, of Bonnie and Clyde fame:

Here's my extremely stylized version of Faye Dunaway as Bonnie Parker.  

Then I made this card, for the prompt 'lyrics or quote', using a video by Jennibellie, which you can find HERE.  Basically, the idea was to 'paint' using string of some kind.  I used embroidery floss:

Once I put down the string, it reminded me of Liza Minelli in Cabaret.  Mostly nowadays, when I think of Liza Minelli, I think of her in Arrested Developement...."I got a case of the dizzies." HAHAHA! 

Finally, I made this card for the prompt 'grocery list':

...because we all know art supplies are more important than food.  These are a few of the things I got at Michaels this weekend (minus the index cards): a set of black Microns, a set of Twinkling H2Os, 5 colors of screen printing ink for fabric, 6 different colors of Silks acrylic glazes, a couple different Sharpies, and some Mod Podge matte sealer.  I got some other things (during the second trip) which didn't make it to the 'grocery' list: some Golden soft gel medium (matte), some Adirondack acrylic paint daubers, and some new paint brushes.  Over all, a fabulous haul.  I've been good for a long time, so I went a little nuts...I'm like a binge buyer when it comes to supplies...nothing, nothing, nothing, EVERYTHING ALL AT ONCE...  Shame on me!

ICAD 18 and...did I show you this already?

So two things to show you, that I made quite a while ago, but don't think I showed before.  They're in my scrappy pocket calender journal that I made.  If I shared these before, please forgive the repeat, I have tired brain...

Easy peasy wimpy drawing...I just was pretty happy with the lettering on this one...usually I hate my lettering, because of the 12-year-old boy handwriting, but I am ok with this one.  The lyrics are from the song below:

This is the song, by Fiona Apple, called Werewolf.  I think she has interesting lyrics and she did the artwork for the cover of the album, which I think is pretty cool! :

This is on the page opposite the one above, and Fiona Apple lyrics inspired this one too.  What can I say, I get off on tangents...

This is my actual handwriting.  Horrifying, I know...  I like the way the feet are crossed in this little sketch.

This is the song that the lyrics above are from (for the record, weirdest video ever, but I love it...it's like a big crazy dream within a dream thing...that's my take anyway) :

Also, I think that gal has an interesting face.  I will probably draw it one day...


And lastly, but not leastly, there is my ICAD card for today.

It's on a 3x5 and the prompt today was "Italy":

I did a drawing of  La Bocca della Verita, or 'the mouth of truth', which is in the church of Santa Maria
Cosmedin Rome, Italy.  I don't think this is the best sketch in the world, but the black eyes and mouth do make his look appropriately menacing, I think.

As soon as I saw the prompt for Italy, I thought of "Roman Holiday" with Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck.  It's my favorite Audrey Hepburn movie, I do believe.  Anyway, one of the scenes that the movie is famous for is the scene with 'the mouth of truth' in it, and that's why I chose this to draw.  

Here's the scene:

Just an interesting tidbit, Audrey Hepburn was unaware of what Gregory Peck was going to do in this scene, so her reaction above is her actual reaction.  You just witnessed a young Audrey Hepburn freak the crap out...that thought is hilarious to me!

The Sad Girl

Here's my most recent art journal page:

Prismacolors and acrylic paint on ultra matte black background

And close up:

The Sad Girl

I've been having a bit of a rough time lately, and I didn't want to make a happy page feeling the way I do.  It would be a lie.

Two years ago this May, I lost a very dear friend.  He was the best man I have ever had the privilege to know, and it hurts every day not seeing him and hearing his voice.  

The way my friend's life ended, by his own hand, makes the loss of him even harder to deal with, to find peace with.  I think that the people close to one who commits suicide probably always blame themselves in some way.  You ask yourself if you should have seen something, if you could have said or done something that would have stopped them from doing what they had done.  And the truth is, you just don't know.  You never get to know, and even if you could have, it's always going to be to late to change it.  That's a hard reality to come to terms with.

It's gotten easier overtime, or at least I don't think about it every second of the day.  But still, and probably for the rest of my life, little thoughts pop into my head and there it is again.  I try now to honor his memory, to think about the good things and not the way it ended.  I think it's funny how a certain smell, or the way the light shines, or the way I see the movement of another person can call him to mind so quickly...and I don't think that's a bad thing.  I don't want to forget him.

I've just been having a hard time lately with him not being here.  He always gave such good advice, it was one of the great things about him, and I could use some of his words of wisdom right about now.  I guess that's what I've been thinking about lately and what led to this journal page.