When I Grow Up

Thanks everybody for all the kind comments from last post.  It was really interesting to me to see how many of you understood exactly where I was coming from.  Sometimes, it's just nice to know we're not alone, isn't it? <3

For today, I've got a page...actually two pages...to share with you from my Journal 52 art journal (you can read more about J52 HERE)  The prompt for this past week was "What did you want to be when you were growing up/what is your dream job?"

I had a hard time with this prompt...I actually had to ask my mom if she could remember what I said I wanted to be!  

I've talked before about the fact that I don't really remember a lot of my childhood.  The funny thing is that I remember odd little things...tiny details...like smells and sounds of specific things.  But for the most part, huge chunks of it don't exist in my memory.  If my family starts talking about something that happened, I can remember more.

I grew up with a very not-nice father.  I think our brains make us forget things we can't handle, and I think that's why I don't have a lot of memories of being a kid.  So when I read the prompt (before I asked my mom if she could remember) "What did you want to be when you grew up?", I could only think of one thing:

"I think I just wanted to be free."

I remember VERY specifically wishing that I could be free.  To be free from my dad's ugliness...to be free from hypocrisy that I saw, even at an early age...to feel free to be a kid and not be afraid of what was going to happen to me if I was 'bad'.  My dad left when I was 16, and I felt very lucky when that happened.  He died a few years ago, and I'm lucky enough, most days, not to hate him anymore, but only pity him.

Freedom is a funny thing, because I don't know that we are ever truly free.  Not often, but sometimes, things my dad said to me when I was little pop into my brain.  

There were a lot of things that he said that don't bother me anymore.  Like being called stupid.  I'm not stupid...I'm actually pretty smart!  It doesn't bother me, because I have proof that he was wrong.  I'm at least smart enough to get myself through life, and who needs to be smarter than that?

But there are other things that I can't seem to shake.  The worst one for me is "No one will ever love you."  And I know that it's not true.  My brain knows that there are a lot of people out there that love me and care about me.  But feeling it, believing it...that's tricky.  Because love is not always a constant thing...once it's there, it can be taken away.  And we can fool ourselves into it and out of it.  And love isn't necessarily reciprocated, sometimes it's one-sided.  And we use the same word for loving food as we do for loving people and we throw around the word like it isn't such a precious thing as it is.  And so love is scary, but we all want it anyway.  We want it so bad it hurts.  And I don't think I'm the only one who feels like that.  I think in the back of a lot of people's minds, there is a tiny mean voice (or sometimes a big booming one) that says 'What if you are just unlovable?'  or 'What if it's a lie?' or 'What if no one loves you ever again?'

I work really hard to squish that lie.  I remind myself that it's a fact that my father was a lying jerk.  I remind myself that even when I don't feel loved, there are people out there just wishing they could make me feel it...even it I'm having a hard time seeing them.  I remind myself that, very importantly...maybe even most importantly, I love myself.  Therefore, at the very least, one person loves me.  And I remind myself that my family loves me...the ones who are my family by blood and my artsy family online too.  And then that mean voice that sounds like my dad shuts the hell up.  As it should.

And so that was my first page...but then I thought, 'Self, you need to have a happy page...you are depressing the crap out of everyone.'  So I texted my mom and asked her if she could remember what it was I dreamed of being when I grew up...

Look it's Baby Sweets!  That is me as a little kiddle, probably five or six years old with my younger sister, Gretchen.  It's really funny, because I couldn't remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I remembered what Gretchen wanted to be right away: a 'pay lady'.  For those who don't know (everybody reading this...haha), a 'pay lady' is a cashier.  When we would go to the grocery store, Mom would say "We're ready to go, we just have to pay the lady."  ...and so a cashier became the 'pay lady' to my sister...I think she just wanted to push all the buttons on the register.  For those who are wondering, Gretchen got to live her dream...she was several times in her life so far, a 'pay lady'. 

And mom said that she seemed to recall that I wanted to be a teacher or a writer.  I have absolutely NO recollection of wanting to be a teacher...Mom said I was really young when I wanted to be a teacher.  

But I did remember wanting to be a writer.  That was actually a dream of mine for a long time...I can't believe I didn't think of it!  Books were a big escape for me as a kid.  Mom would have to force me to go outside and play, and even then she'd practically have to frisk me to see if I was hiding a book!  I had a good imagination, and I remember reading things and them being so real to me.  I think that I wanted to be a writer so that I would be able to make up my own stories to live in...

"When I grow up, I want to be a writer." - Amy
I used the picture above as a reference, and I'm a little disappointed in the way it turned out.  Actually it was pretty good as a line drawing, but then I started coloring it in and  I should have just left it alone...  On the positive side, I do like that I used my (non-dominant) left hand to do the writing on the page...it looks like a little kid wrote it, which is what I wanted.

Thanks to the internet and the blog, I get to be a writer now.  In a small way, I get to live my dream...even if it doesn't pay any bills.  :)  I do get very excited when people comment that they like or relate to things I've written here, or when someone compliments something I've said or written in some way.  I started the blog as a way to share my art and to document my progress with that...but somewhere along the way, I started blabbing away and couldn't stop.  These days, a post doesn't feel finished to me until I've given you the story behind the art!  Maybe if my life were more interesting, I could have sold the copyrights by now! :)

So that's what I've got for today...I wanted to be free and I wanted to be a writer (and that, clearly, I was an adorable child...hehehe).  What did you want to be when you grew up?  What about now?  Has your dream job stayed the same, or do you have a different idea of what you want as an adult?  (Mine would be being independently wealthy and not having to have a day job...then I'd just make art and write about it all day long!)

Journal 52, Week 4 - Building Character

First, I just want to thank everybody for taking the time to leave such sweet and heartfelt comments on the last post.  I remind myself over and over that when something is hard to talk about, that's the thing I need to say the most.  You reward me with your kind words and lift up my spirits.  Thank you all so much. <3

Today, I just want to share my Journal 52 page for this week.  You can read more about J52 HERE.  The prompt this time was to create your own character for your art journal, and here's what I made:

"Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow.  The shadow is what we think of it, the tree is the real thing."
-Abraham Lincoln

I have to admit that after having such a bad time this past week, I was initially just going to draw horns on my girl and say something to the effect of "being the hero of your own story might make you come across as the villain in someone else's"...but I thought better of it.

For a while now, I've been dealing with a frustrating situation at my job.  For the most part, I can handle it and not lose my temper, but with being stressed out and emotional over Nu Nu...well, you can only deal with so much before you start to crack...I feel like I'm at my breaking point.

I have a co-worker...or I should say a person who sits in the same office as I do all day long without doing much actual work...and I hate her.  My other co-workers also have...let's say...very low opinions of her.  I do my best to keep quiet at work about how I feel about this woman, but not everyone else tries to practice "if you don't have anything nice to say..."  I try to maintain a professional attitude, one, because I was raised that way, and two, because if I do say something off hand, I will be the person that gets caught and probably fired over it.  I might have a big butt, but I always keep it covered...

I'm sure everybody either works with someone like her or did at one point.  The person who does the least work, that complains the most about how hard they work...  The person who makes the most money, but complains to the others about how much she 'struggles' to make ends meet...  The person who always tries to one-up everyone else...if you broke your arm, she knows someone who had both their arms bitten off by a shark...  The person to whom you just want to say "I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?"   All these great things and more are wrapped up into one evil succubus at my job.

And since I'm ranting, she lies...she lies about things that don't matter.  She lies to garner attention.  And the worst part of all is she doesn't do it well.  I personally am a fantastic liar...my own mother can't tell when I'm lying.  I try not to lie, I'm not proud of the fact that I'm so good at such a bad thing, but for Pete's sake, if you're going to do something, do it right!  And the second to worst part of all is that she believes her own lies.  The woman is completely delusional.

The really frustrating part for me is that, at first, everyone loves her.  "Oh, she's so sweet..."  Gag.  The only good part about it is that eventually, people see through her act...  My father was like this to a tee...I think it's a big part of the reason I really can't stand my co-worker.  Just because you know someone is going to get their just desserts eventually, it doesn't necessarily make it any easier to deal with at the time...

And I was thinking about this when I started to make my character page this week.  How my co-worker has the reputation of being a nice, sweet old lady but the reality of it is she's a lazy, racist jerk of an old woman... Shadow vs. Tree.  People eventually see it, but it takes them a while sometimes.

The original journaling, which sound pretty negative, actually describes the situation really well.  In my story, I'm the hero, of course (I mean, it is my story...come on!), having to silently combat this frustrating situation day after day, without a resolution in sight.  

On the other hand, this woman is the hero in her mind...which makes me her villain.  In her mind, she works hard and struggles to make ends meet and she wants attention and praise and sympathy and pity.  By being the way she is, she doesn't get the things she wants...she constantly fishes for it and if people do give her the reaction she's hoping for, it's only because she's backed them into the corner about it.  I really did try to pity her for a long time, because she's constantly defeating her own purposes.  If she could just be a decent person, she'd get all the things she wants...or else, she wouldn't want them anymore.  But she's not a decent person, so much so that I've quit trying to pity her, and am reduced to trying not to throw a computer monitor at her face...anymore, that's all the energy I can muster in this fight.

The extra funny thing about it is that, as her villain, I'm getting all the things she wants.  For the most part, my co-workers like me, they joke with me, they offer to help me without being asked...because they know I do the same for them.  I get commended because of my good work by my boss...because instead of talking about how much I do, I just do it!  I totally understand that as an employee, I'm not doing anyone any favors.  They PAY me to do my job.  I also understand that no one is irreplaceable.  I work hard because I need a job, and it's part of the deal...I work, they give me money to buy art supplies (and, to a lesser extent, food)...  I am not there to get praised, I'm there to make money, but I get praised because I actually do work.  No matter what it is, work wise or socially (or artistically even), I do the best that I can...that's the most anyone can do.  If you want to see the least anyone can do, I invite you to come meet my evil co-worker...

I didn't mean to have such a rant today about this.  I really do try not to talk bad about other people...I don't always succeed as much as I'd like, but I do TRY!  I just had to get it out, before steam started shooting from my ears, making steam engine whistle sounds like in the cartoons...  

What do you do to deal with the 'villain' in your story?  Do you think someone looks at you like you're the bad guy in their story?  Are you the bad guy in someone's story (you naughty monkey!)?

Panned out a little so you can see the edges of the page...the first layer of this page was various book pages, including a word search...you can see on the left hand side that "journal" was one of the words in the word search...I was very excited by that, and had to leave it showing...  There, now I feel like that was a more positive way to end a post... :)

Journal 52, Week 3-You Make Me Smile

I'm a little behind on posting my week 3 page for Journal 52 (or J52, which you can read more about HERE), but I actually got it done on time.  I just had a not very good weekend and didn't take the time to post.  But there will be more about that in this week's Documented Life pages, and for right now, I need something happy to get me off to work today.

For week 3 of J52, the prompt was "You make me smile." and it's about the 'quirky, silly, happy things that make you smile'.  Mine has a double meaning, which I'm always a fan of:

"Every time I find your face it always makes me smile!"
Prismacolors, Aquamarkers, Promarkers, Dylusions,  Bic 537R pen (aka the best writing pen ever...I used it for the writing and those crazy eyelashes)

As soon as I read the prompt, I knew I was going to be drawing a girl with a smiling face.  It's one of the how-to videos included in Jane Davenport's (JD for short) Supplies Me class that I'm taking, so I knew I wanted the practice.  I just had to figure out why the girl was going to be smiling...what makes me smile?

Not to make you think that JD is my new art idol or anything (although her work is beautiful and I am loving her classes...), but I do find that she has interesting side thoughts that pop out of her from time to time.  I imagine watching one of JD's videos is a bit like listening to me talk (except for I don't have an awesome Australian accent), because she rambles on and on, goes off on tangents, and is so silly.  But if you listen closely, some of her silliness makes a lot of sense!

One of the things that JD says is that we have little people living in our art supplies and when we use those supplies, we are setting those little people free!  I like that she says "let's see who's living in here today", because there's not always the same person in our supplies...it's different people every time!  And that was the inspiration for the page I'm sharing today...it makes me smile to find the faces of my little people.  

Now, just so you know, I do differ from JD a little bit, because I know that my little people live in my hand and not my art supplies.  My little people might tell me they want to be drawn in a certain art supply, but they definitely live in my hand.  There's a whole sprawling city of them living in there!  And I know they are living in my hand, because if you used my art supplies, you'd draw the people living in your hand!  And they are probably very different from the ones that live in mine!  I think if the people lived in the art supplies themselves, then your little people would look much more like my little people, and what fun would that be?  So, in my opinion, my little art people live in Hand City and take the art supply bus to Watercolor Paper Town (or sometimes to other substrate themed locations...but Watercolor Paper Town is a pretty popular destination at my house)!

The other meaning for my page is about finding a familiar face in a crowd.  I have a hard time with large groups of people, especially when I'm alone...it makes me nervous.  I'm a lot better than I used to be...when I was a kid, I could hardly stand in line at a store without practically having a panic attack.  So I've gotten better, but even now, it's not one of my favorite things.  But if I'm with someone I know, it makes the whole thing much easier.  So I was thinking about going somewhere by myself, bumping into a familiar face, and the amount of relief it provides me.  

I could also imagine waiting for someone in a crowded place (like an airport...although I've personally never been to an airport...) and searching through all the unfamiliar faces til, at last, you find the person you've been looking for.  I blame romance movies for this one...you know, where they have to find their true love before the flight leaves...I bet you can think of a specific movie right now that has this scene in it.  Hollywood has even invaded the brain of a non-TV watcher like me!

So finding faces is something that makes me smile...what about you?  What is it that makes you so glad you can't help but have a physical reaction?  

Journal 52 Week 1

I finally finished my first Journal 52 (J52 for short) spread!  You can read more about J52 HERE.  Last week, I appropriately dubbed 2014 so far to be the 'Year of Challenges'...I think it's a given...but so far, I've kept up with all of my self-imposed commitments.  So goody, goody gumdrops! 

When I remember, I try to take pictures of my pages in various degrees of completion...it actually helps to improve the page, I swear!  It can look great to me with the naked eye, but I take a picture and I can suddenly see that something's a little wonky...and then I can fix it before I move on to the next stage.  I'm sure there's some science-y explanation for this, but I don't know what it is, and mostly, I just care that it works for me...  

Here's my J52 Week 1 spread for the prompt "Up, Up, and Away" (side note: I hope all of the J52 prompts are as interesting to me as this one was!): 

Here it is in the rough sketch stage.  I used a circle template for all the balloons, which felt like a stroke of genius to me...you have no idea how misshapen those poor balloons would have been otherwise!  I messed up on her left hand, and since I used colored pencil, no erasing could occur...but it's ok, I fixed it eventually!

Here is the beginning shading page.  I'm still working on my colored pencil shading skills...more Prismacolors, please!  Thanks to this picture, I noticed how wonky her eyes were...in real life, it didn't seem that bad, but when I took the picture....WHAM!  Those eyes were REALLY off...

(Sorry for the blurriness!)  More colored pencil happening now...also Aquamarkers were added for the balloons and in the hair and dress...and Distress Stain in Tumbled Glass was used for the sky  color of the background...I like how the Distress Stain came out a little patchy...it made it look like a more realistic sky to me.  See how much better the eyes are now?  Still not perfect, but WAY less weird looking!

TA-DA!  Here's the finished page...YAY!  Added some shading on the balloons with a water-soluble pen   Side note: I use Artist Loft (Michael's store brand) Illustration Pens as my water-soluble pens...they claim to be 'water resistant', but they resist ZERO water...not even a little...which I was really disappointed about when I first got them...then I realized I could just go with it and make that work for me...and with a coupon, they were way cheaper than buying on purpose water-soluble pens.  Win/win situation!  Some more shading on the girl done with Aquamarkers.  Highlights on the balloons and the girl with white pen.  And a few touches of Micron to the girl's eyes.  Also look at the hand...it's much better now!  I added some journaling in the strings of the balloons...not much, just the title "Up, Up, and Away", the date, and my signature.

I'm S-U-P-E-R (say it cheerleader style haha) excited with the way this page turned out!  One thing I wish I would have done differently is to make the stings between the balloons and the girls hands be taut instead of all loosey goosey...I mean, physics...come on...  But I guess the idea of balloons being able to carry a girl away is enough of a stretch that I can forgive myself some magical balloon strings that don't follow the laws of nature...

One of the things I really liked about J52 was the lady's suggestion of using a 3 ring binder as your art journal...hence the holes punched in the page.  The reason I'm excited is that I want to make some heavily textured/3-D pages, but I never do, because it's hard (aka too much of a hassle for me personally) to work in the rest of your journal after you put a good and bumpy one in the mix.  Now I can just work on loose watercolor paper with holes punched in it and make the page as thick and juicy as a person could ever want it to be!  I'm kind of excited about that...oh, the possibilities....

Now I've just got to get to work on making my binder pretty...

Documented Life Week 2

Before I get to the art stuff, let me just tell you, I had an AMAZING discovery today...I am at 10,000+ page views here on the blog.  WHAT?!?

 

This was my face:

Oh.My.Goodness.

 

 

And then it went to this:

 

Yeah, just a little....talk amongst yourselves, I'll give you a topic...

 

That's right, two SNL pictures almost encompass the fantastic feeling I got from seeing the more than 10,000 page views...I can't believe it!  Thank you all for making that happen!!!  Smooch, smooch, smooches for everyone!!! <3

 

Ok, I'm better now...SQUEAL OF DELIGHT!!!  Alright, on to the art...

 

The prompt for Week 2 of Documented Life (which you can read about HERE) was to incorporate a selfie (aka a self-portrait) into your planner.  Blurg, I hate selfies (my own, I like to see your gorgeous faces...), but luckily there are ways around just putting my dorky picture on the page, so YAY!

 

Here's what I made:

 

Two-page spread of selfie inspired goodness

 Before we go any further, I just have to say that my favorite thing about this page are all the Sweet Red Clovers pasted in.  They are all written by different friends who have sent me happy mail art and I, being the extreme art hoarder that I am, kept the envelopes...and, clearly, for good reason.  I LOVE having everybody be a part of the spread in this way.  Full disclosure: I have several more Sweet Red Clovers (from envelopes) still in my stash for future similarly awesome usage!  So if your SRC didn't make it to this page, please know that I will most assuredly use yours in the future!

 

 

Left page close-up...so much fun stuff on this page!

For my selfies, I had some left over self-portrait pictures from when I was doing Inner Excavations and so I used them...I am currently out of printer ink, so new photos were out of the question...it's ok, my face looks the same as it did...my hair is just longer (now you're in the know...).  I just added a light coat of gesso to the pictures and then went over the major outlines with a Micron.  My face is there, but it's so much more...I don't know...artsy (?) now! 

 

As I was cutting to get the SRC's for the page, I was also swiping the cool stamps that were on the envelopes as well...that's where the stamp of the Queen came from.  As I was going through my box of ephemera, I saw the little 'you are the queen' paper (I think it's from Jackie, my honey) and I thought it was a cute coincidence and added it to the page...it kind of makes me wonder what I'm the queen of...

 

The little baker guy with the mustache came from a tin of butter cookies that I swiped from work (both the tin and the little paper with the man that was inside it...I left the cookies)...I wanted to write about how I was always 'cooking up' something, but I couldn't decide what that something was...it will kind of be a secret joke that you and I are in on...I like that his eyes are looking at the girl on the right page!

 

Right page close up...more fun stuff!

 

I drew my little non-self portrait lady on a page from a book of Robin Hood stories that I got from my sister, Marian.  (Drawing on book pages makes me so HAPPY!)  By complete and total accident, if you notice, the title at the top of the book page says "Robin shoots before the queen"....AAAH!  Talk about crazy serendipitous moments!  I didn't see that until after I started gluing down all the ephemera stuff!  And, yet another bit from an envelope from a friend, the little 'conquerer' logo... I like the idea that I am an active and conquering queen/cooker-upper of something!

 

 

Close up of girl's face!

This (the girl's face) is my Prismacolor blending practice page (for the Supplies Me workshop) that I mentioned last post.  Oh, baby!  This one page makes me KNOW that more Prismas are in my future!  I think the best part of the face is her lips, especially the bottom one.  That bottom lip was one of the last things I did, and I  think it's the point where I really 'got it', where I understood what I was going for and what it was possible to achieve with colored pencils.  Hubba hubba, that lip makes me giddy!

 

2014 looks like it's going to be the year of challenges for me...I didn't realize it until today, but I've got a lot of (crazy fun!) irons in the fire project/challenge wise! 

 

Here's what I've got going on so far (and it's only the7th!): Morning Pages (this one is indefinitely long...possibly for the rest of my life even...hehehe...we'll see), Root 30-day journal challenge (you can read more about it HERE), Documented Life (link is at the beginning of this post), Jane Davenport's Supplies Me (going on now...you can see all JD's workshops HERE), Jane's Express Yourself workshop (starting live in February), and Journal 52 (a year long, free art journal workshop that you can read more about HERE) that I just found out about from a friend on Facebook and the first prompt for this challenge is one of my many current WIPs. 

 

In the spirit of today's Root prompt, I'm thinking of 'gently' easing into some gardening when spring gets here.  We'll see what happens I guess.  I like flowers and I need to get some kind of physical activity happening before I need a crane to move myself from place to place...plus fresh air never hurt anybody(...with the possible exception of Bubble Boy...).  Maybe its the sub-zero temperatures (seriously, -15 F with the wind chill today...I like cold, but even I have limits!) making me subconsciously wish for warmer weather...but the thought of digging in the dirt and helping beautiful things come to be (without using a piece of paper...because my art is beautiful to me!) has been sticking in my mind for a while now.  The key for me is going to be gently starting to garden...instead of letting my all-or-nothing attitude destroy my green thumb ambitions like the last time!  I've changed a lot since then, and I'm getting better at sticking to things, so maybe it's time to have another go at it!  We'll see how I feel about the whole idea when spring is a little closer...

 

Do you have any big projects in the works?  What about your 'dream' projects...those wild hare ideas that are floating around in your brain (like my dream of gardening)?  I'm interested to know! 

Fun with Sweets and Jane

I worked the dreaded Saturday this week.  Overtime is always a mixed bag for me, because I'm never sure which I would rather have, more money or more time.  Usually time wins, but this week the choice was made for me and I ended up working...I got off easy though, because I didn't have to work today like a lot of the other people I work with.  I missed out on getting paid double time, but, as I always say, money does me no good when I am in the mental institution from having a nervous breakdown.  I need to be away from work and work people so that I can be pleasant and sane during normal working hours.  If I don't have that break, I very quickly descend into madness and could very easily end up stabbing a co-worker in the neck with a pencil or throwing a stapler at someone's face...and that's just not very nice at all, now is it?

 

I have been doing my Morning Pages still!  Every single day, although I confess not always in the morning...but every single day of 2014 so far!  That's right, five whole days!  (ha ha) It might not seem like much, but I have stuck with it to this point and hooray for that!  Lisa Sonora Beam's Root challenge (which you can read about HERE and see if you'd like to participate...it's free to do) has been giving me some prompts that are helping me along.  Despite the fact that I've looked at some of them first thing in the morning and thought they were too woo-woo hippy dippy for me, I find that I keep coming back to them and having something to write about concerning them when I do my pages.  I've said it before and I'll say it again:  I'm becoming very good at hippy dippy as it applies to me! :) 

 

I think I might have mentioned that I am taking Jane Davenport's  (JD for short) Supplies Me workshop...if not...  Guess what?!? 

 

 

You can find all of JD's workshops HERE

 

I am having so much fun.  Faces are my favorite thing to draw.  Not too much time goes by without one creeping into my work...probably not even a single day...  From the very beginning of my artistic endeavors, I've just loved them.  And JD has such great faces and ways of teaching that it isn't hard to spend all of my free time practicing.  ...even things that I've resisted (I'm looking at you ball-on-a-board shading practice...which is coming up in one of the lessons as homework...ugh...), I find myself willing to do for JD's classes.

 

I'm on Week 2 of the Supplies Me class (although I have been scandalously watching videos ahead...I'm such a rebel!), and it deals with colored pencils.

 

After I watched JD's Whimsical Faces video from Cloth Paper Scissors, I have given myself over to drawing with colored pencils instead of graphite ones...it has been one of the best things I've done to improve my drawings, I swear it!  I've just been using my Crayola set, and they work just fine for the beginnings of  drawings...BUT...today I was practicing blending with my Prismacolors and let me just say...I need to get more colors of the Prismacolors...possibly all the Prismacolors in the world.  I got the basic set a long time ago (I think 10 or 12 colors) and a few flesh tones along the way, but haven't really used them much because I wasn't a fan of shading with colored pencil...until now!  These things are like magic wands of awesomeness encased in wood.  I don't have the piece I was working on today ready to show you just yet (probably tomorrow or the next day), but I do have my other homework type drawings, which are face practice (and done in Prismacolors):

 

 

The Oval Face

The Circle Face (Left braid, you turned out so well...I don't know what happened with you, poor right braid...)

The Squared Face

I am eventually going to put my shading skills that I am learning to good use and color these girls in, but for now they are just basic outlines in waiting.

 

I did do another face, using the Crayola colored pencils and, to a lesser extent, Inktense pencils, Distress Markers, and Sharpie Paint Pens:

 

 

I used a Painters (that's the brand) paint marker to try to 'white' out the face's guidelines, and it worked really well but in the photo it sticks out like a sore thumb.  In person, you can't see those lines at all (or hardly at all)...and from across the room, this girl just GLOWS...I tell you it's almost eerie! 

Possibly my favorite bit of face practice is this page:

 

Squeal of Delight!  Squeal of Delight!

 I loved doing this!  I stole the idea right from JD (not really stole, she suggested it as practice), and I had FUN with a capital F-U-N finding out what kind of girl was living in each circle of paint!  The only thing I did differently than JD was I used a black pen ( a Micron on some and a regular old ball point pen on others) to make the facial features instead of using colored pencils.  The reason I did this is that I used Martha Stewart Pearl paints on some of the circles and that paint is glossy and colored pencil won't stick to it.  That happened to be the first spot of paint I tried to draw on...so then I forgot to switch over to colored pencil and all my girls ended up being done in black pen.  It was a HAPPY accident though, because I LOVE how the page looks!  Part of me wants to take a dot stencil and fill in some of the white space with tiny non-face dots of paint...and part of me wants to leave it as white space...what do you think would be better?

 

My two favorite faces ended up being right next to each other.  The one at the top left in the periwinkle-ish color (incidentally the first girl I did...can you tell it's glossy paint?) who's got the turned face and the bun is my favorite, and the girl below her in the light blue is a very, very close second.  They're such different styles of face, but I LOVE them both... HUZZAH!

  I've got another page of paint circles opposite this page, but I had to stop drawing these little faces as my hand was cramping...now I'm not sure if I want to draw more faces on those blank circles or if I want to turn them into journaling space...hmm...decisions, decisions...

 

Oh, I did manage to make one face in colored pencil, the girl at the bottom left in this picture...she's all pencil and I love her fantastic lips.
 

I'm in the process of finishing up this week's challenge for the Documented Life project, and that's what I'm using my Prismacolor shading page on...ooh, I'm so exited for you to see it!  So, if I want to get done and ready to show you tomorrow, I better go finish it up right now! 

 

 

By the way, what have you been working on over the weekend?  Are you keeping up with your new year challenges? 



Ink Blot...Face 23 of 29

Here's face #23:

Swinging away...

For this girl, I was inspired by Michelle at Inspiration Everywhere (you can see Michelle's adorable ink blot girl HERE).  Michelle sprayed a spot of ink spray on her page and found a face in the ink.  I thought that was a really cool idea, so I tried the same thing using a Dylusions background I had already made.  

I saw this girl swinging away...don't know what that means in the world of Ink Blot tests and psychology, but there you have it...

Until tomorrow, my artistic accomplices...

Reciprocation

Two posts ago, I talked about the wonderful mail art that I received from my friend Cheryl...and how I forgot to take pictures of what I sent her because I was so excited to send it, my brain just went crazy!

Thankfully, Cheryl took some really great pictures and is letting me use them so I can share the girls with you. (Thanks, Cheryl!)

First up, the envelope:

Why hello...

I tried really hard to do good lettering on the addresses instead of just using my normal handwriting, which looks something similar to a 12 year old boys...after I did that, the back of the envelope just looked so blank and boring that I had to make it a little snazzier!  I'm really happy with that thumb...hands are the hardest to draw (I think so anyway), and hers is a little wonky but woo hoo for that thumb!

Next up is a girl on copy paper:

I think she's got that 'come hither' look.

Cheryl makes such wonderful collages that I thought she might like to have a girl to use in her art.  That's why I sent one just on copy paper.  

It works out really well to start out using copy/printer paper to practice your girls (or anything you want to practice, I suppose).  For one thing, it's cheap, so if you mess up or aren't happy with the end result, you can toss it without bemoaning the loss of watercolor or other more expensive paper.  For another, it's easy to draw on because it's smooth and you don't have to worry about funky textures getting in the way and making you have weird/off lines.  And the best part of all, if you do make a good girl on copy paper, you can cut out your girl and stick it to a canvas or journal page and it's so thin, no one will be able to tell it wasn't drawn on directly!  I don't do all my girls on copy paper first (not anymore), but if I have a page that's has a heavy texture or a very dark background, I definitely do!  So that's my shout out to copy paper...Hooray!

And last but not least, here's the girl I did with Cheryl in mind specifically:

Cheryl's Bohemian spirited lady

This girl is probably my favorite girl I've done to date.  One, because I can see where I'm improving, and it's nice to see my girl face obsession is paying off...I've made a lot of questionable faces to get to this point!  (Her hair makes me so happy I could squeal like a pig in mud!)  Two, because it was the first piece I've done with someone (my muse Cheryl) in mind while I made her.  And three, the most important reason of all, because I got to send her off to live with such a sweet, kind person!  Cheryl is so nice and says the best, most encouraging things about my girls!  I think I would want to do art even if nobody liked it, but to hear positive things about what I do...to know that someone likes my girls so much that they want one for themselves ...it warms my heart and makes me want to keep going and keep improving and just paint the sky with happiness!

Thank you again Cheryl, for being my first mail art giver and recipient!  I can't think of a nicer person to have as my first!

The Sad Girl

Here's my most recent art journal page:

Prismacolors and acrylic paint on ultra matte black background

And close up:

The Sad Girl

I've been having a bit of a rough time lately, and I didn't want to make a happy page feeling the way I do.  It would be a lie.

Two years ago this May, I lost a very dear friend.  He was the best man I have ever had the privilege to know, and it hurts every day not seeing him and hearing his voice.  

The way my friend's life ended, by his own hand, makes the loss of him even harder to deal with, to find peace with.  I think that the people close to one who commits suicide probably always blame themselves in some way.  You ask yourself if you should have seen something, if you could have said or done something that would have stopped them from doing what they had done.  And the truth is, you just don't know.  You never get to know, and even if you could have, it's always going to be to late to change it.  That's a hard reality to come to terms with.

It's gotten easier overtime, or at least I don't think about it every second of the day.  But still, and probably for the rest of my life, little thoughts pop into my head and there it is again.  I try now to honor his memory, to think about the good things and not the way it ended.  I think it's funny how a certain smell, or the way the light shines, or the way I see the movement of another person can call him to mind so quickly...and I don't think that's a bad thing.  I don't want to forget him.

I've just been having a hard time lately with him not being here.  He always gave such good advice, it was one of the great things about him, and I could use some of his words of wisdom right about now.  I guess that's what I've been thinking about lately and what led to this journal page.

Wednesday

Here's my most recent girl:

My older sister asked me what her name was...and I didn't know...I didn't know naming them was a thing.  But, I thought about it...and decided that her hair reminded me of Morticia Addams (from The Addams Family), but Morticia wouldn't wear a green sweater...  So I think she must be Wednesday all grown up and out on her own.  

Wednesday is done on canvas...the background is alcohol ink.  I used Prismacolors and acrylic paint, as well as water colors.  Her hair is scrapbook paper!  Isn't that a neat technique/idea?  My favorite thing is her mouth, because I think it makes her look saucy.  I feel like I got the highlight just how I wanted too, which is something I've been practicing.

I really need to work on taking better pictures, or at least at having a more interesting background, instead of having my paneling and paperclips showing!  Although those paperclips are both useful and colorful, so they're not too bad I guess!