Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Tired of Your Crap

The prompt for REVERB14 today is (pardon the French):

How can you stop being an a-hole, get out of your own way, and make room for more of your magic to happen in 2015?

"Getting real tired of your crap."

I actually took a lot of inspiration from SUMMER PIERRE, who was the muse behind today's prompt.  In a slightly different way, I am also too harsh with my own artistic ideas.

I think the problem for me, and maybe other creative types face the same issue, is that I want to be 'good' at what I do.  And there's nothing wrong with wanting to do a good job or to make something you're proud of.  The downfall of this line of thinking comes when your desire to do 'good' outweighs your desire to move forward and experiment with your art.

When you lose that open attitude, you get stuck in a rut.  For some people, this means never even attempting to make art because they aren't currently 'good' at it.  I am relatively lucky because I didn't really have that problem when I was first starting out.  I was willing to put forth the effort and learn.

My rut came after I started making things I was proud of.  For me, it's my faces.  I love making my faces.  Part of the reason I love them is because I am halfway decent at it...I know what steps to take to get to a place where I'm happy, or at least relatively satisfied, with how they turn out.  And again, I don't think there's anything wrong with doing something you know and love...whatever that tried and true thing may be.

If you're always doing what you know,though, there's no space for learning.  To be honest, I like to think I do learn something new every time I make a face...a new detail, a different way of doing something...and I don't think I'll ever shut the door on faces entirely.

But at this point, I'm starting to feel a little too repetitive.  It's gone beyond a theme and turned into a rut.  Themes I am totally cool's like having a signature style...something that is uniquely you and that others can recognize you by.  Ruts worry me, though, because they lead to boredom...and maybe, eventually, stopping altogether.

Right now, I think the biggest way I am an a-hole or, as a fellow blogger who I adore called it, an asshat (heehee...that is a great word...), is by telling myself I have to be good at something immediately and every time.  What a sack of crap that is!

The most idiotic part about the whole thing is that I know, I KNOW, from my past artistic experiences, you learn a million times more from the ugly, the bad, and the gigantic mistakes than you ever would from making perfect piece after perfect piece.

Coming in at second place in the idiocy competition is that I know that I LOVE to experiment.  Seriously, I cannot even tell you how many times I figured out something cool just because I didn't know the 'right' way to use a product or because I didn't have a certain thing I 'needed' so I just tried substituting with what I had and stumbled onto a brilliant new technique!

This reluctant attitude towards doing something different is dumb, dumb, DUMB and, frankly, lazy as well...and I have NO TOLERANCE for laziness!

Honestly, I think I've just been an asshat to myself in the wrong direction.  I shouldn't be internally mocking myself for making an ugly page.  I should be internally mocking myself for for not having the boobs (cause I literally can't have the balls to do anything...) to risk making an ugly page...because the other side of that risk of ugliness is glorious originality and continual progress.

So from now on, before I start working in one of my journals, I'm going to have to take a look at the scary girl I drew above...she's tired of my wimpy crap...and she's going to bully me back into artistic bravery!  No more asshattery in the wrong direction!

1 comment:

  1. OMG I hear ya! And actually, I hear that a lot. I think there are more of us asshats who expect ourselves to be perfect at something from day one. Maybe we should just hold one massive Asshatters Tea Party and agree to get out of our own way! I'll drink to that. x


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