Friday, December 19, 2014

Repeat And Advance

For REVERB14 today, the prompt is:

What sorts of signs and symbols have recurred for you in 2014?  Think: repeating colors, shapes, people, sayings, music, images, ideas.  Where could they possibly be leading you?

Color swatch for some new colored pencils I got this year.

I think I should probably say, first off, that I don't really believe in signs least not in the mystical 'from the universe' sort of way.  The closest thing I can admit to buying is the fact that our brains are wired to make connections.  We are always searching for patterns, whether we are aware of it or not.  It's how we learn.  (You can find a bajillion articles on this if you google "pattern recognition and the human brain".)  Whether there's any meaning in patterns we see, aside from our ability to learn from those patterns, whether they're signs or omens or whatever...that's the part of it I'm skeptical about.

That being said, I can tell you some of the patterns I've noticed in 2014.

One thing that came to mind was a run of purple in my art journals this year...I actually recognized this pattern way back in JUNE.  I'm not generally drawn to purple, but it sure did crop up a lot this year.  

I've also had a recent run on bunny rabbits.  I don't know why, other than they're cute, but even today if I had time I was going to draw one for this post...

Which leads me to being drawn to animal related objects in general.  As I look around my studio, I notice that I'm surrounded by turtles, pigs, owls, raccoons, squirrels, dogs, cats, and an assortment of other various creatures...  Honestly, if I had to guess at any deep significance these guys might represent, I would have to tell you that all these things are wild and free...something that I myself would like to attain to...or it could just be that they are cute and quirky...

In my art journals, more than any other pattern, you will find faces on almost every page.  I've talked about this on the blog before, but this pattern I've come to recognize as my emotional outlet.  And then you will also find words, quotes and song lyrics, which are my brain trying to make logical sense of those emotions I'm feeling.  In my journal, faces are emotions and words are how my brain can comprehend those emotions so that action can be taken.

This year, I've also noted that my emotions have been cyclical.  Things I thought I had gotten over kept cropping back up for that one, I can take as a sign, a sign that I wasn't really as 'over it' as I thought I was.  But that led me to discover that my way of feeling emotions (which are relatively new to me, like I've talked about in the past) wasn't so different from people who have dealt with them their whole was a relief to find that out!

I suppose that the patterns I've noticed most this year are patterns of behavior, in myself and in others.

In others, I've noticed repeating patterns...some people's patterns have drawn me closer to them and other's patterns have caused me to reevaluate my relationships with them.

In myself, I've noticed a deviation from some of the patterns I normally follow.  Things that used to be important to me have become less so...things that I claimed not to care about previously have taken on greater significance.

I believe I'm forming a new pattern of life.  One where I am the central figure and all other things radiate out from me.  In the past, I would have viewed this as selfish, and, even now, writing it down, it might come across that way.  But that's not how I mean it.  There are times in life that it must be that way, if for no other reason than self preservation.

There are times that we have to detach from everything so that we can figure out what it is that we really want to keep and what it is that no longer deserves a place in our lives.  No matter how hard it is, we have to let those undeserving things spiral away from us, because they are heavy and if we kept them close, then surely we would be crushed under their weight or else stretched in a direction we have no desire to go.  I can no longer view it as selfish to try and save yourself.

Maybe that's the problem I have with signs and the like...the idea that something outside of myself is pulling or pushing me in various directions.  I've lived that life.  All it ever got me was a broken heart and a mind full of regret.

Now I'm at the point where I must create a new pattern...and it has to be one where I am the sole artist involved.  So that if my heart gets broken or if I feel regret over something, then at least it comes from actions I chose.

I don't want to bless or blame the 'Universe' or anything else that may or may not be out there sending me signals...not ever again.  Whatever consequences come from my actions, good or bad, I will be able to selfishly proclaim that they are mine alone.

1 comment:

  1. Noticing patterns of behaviour is a pretty big deal! So many don't... and end up stuck in spirals and wondering why.


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