Connecting

The prompt for JOURNAL 52 this week was to "Doodle In Your Journal" and here's what I did:

Connecting with my inner child this week, I guess...

To me, doodling is absentmindedly sketching, and this little ballerina is what came out when I turned off my brain. I think the prompt was supposed to be doodling like zentangles, but this little girl wanted out into the world instead...and who am I to tell her no?

The prompt for REVERB14 today is:

How have you created and/or sustained connections in your life this year?

I like to think that 2014 has been a year of connecting to myself in a deeper, more meaningful way.  Since starting the blog, which is coming up on year two, I've been developing my sense of self...realizing I have an inner voice and then trying to listen to what it's saying in terms of what I want from life.

It's not that I haven't always had an inner voice, but it's just sort of been a dreamy one, I suppose, making comments I paid very little attention to.  It didn't matter what I wanted, I felt obliged to do things other people's way.  My own thoughts were put on the back burner to snip and snark and bemoan the fact that they were mostly ignored.

For the past two years blogging, I've had my own personal soap box to stand up on and let myself be heard.  It's been interesting, and quite often surprising.  There were times I didn't know that I felt a certain way until I sat down and started typing...Which seems like pure craziness to say out loud, but is entirely true!

This year I think, especially in the last six months or so, I've been coming to terms with the fact that my inner voice doesn't have to be a narrator only.  It can and should be a decision maker.  What an epiphany!

I've always let my inner voice be silenced by the thoughts and opinions of others, and I feel like it's far past time to make amends with it.  I've been letting that voice speak up more and more, but we all know words are nothing unless action follows.  

This month has been a start of acting at the discretion of my own inner voice...and it's scary and wonderful in the same breath!

Even though I've spent a lot of time in the past trying to cut the rope that binds it to me, I feel like I finally understand that the connection to self is one that can never be severed.  More to the point, I'm ready to strengthen that connection and not take it for granted ever again.

I think my inner voice just breathed a sigh of relief...