Day #3 of the countdown to 30.
I was thinking all day about how disgruntled yesterday's post seemed. That's a good word for it, I think. That's just how I felt, too. No apologies! But I don't want that to be a major theme of my personality. I'm happy I got it out, because now there's room for different feelings.
It's good to see that I do have some kinds of real feelings, even if they're not the ones I want. I'm trying not to let myself push that negative feeling down completely. If I feel negative, I want to understand why I'm feeling that way. If I can figure out where the negative stuff comes from, then I can start to eliminate the cause. Once the negative stuff is understood and discarded, there will be more room for positive things.
With that in mind, here's today's page:
 |
| The journaling says: "I'm not sure what they are yet...it's quite possible they're weeds. But I won't know till they get a little bigger. So I'm just gonna water them and watch them grow. And if, in the end, they're no good, I'll uproot them, toss them aside and start over. No harm done. It's just gonna take time and elbow grease, and that's ok. I need the practice anyway, I think. I need to relearn how to care, then I'll be ready for the good stuff." |
I know it will take time and hard work on my part. Right now, in my head, it's like a chaotic desert with a bunch of tumbleweeds swirling around, littering the landscape, and not much else happening. But eventually, I'm going to have a garden...a place of peace and beauty and serenity. Won't that be nice?
Oh my goodness this is so beautifully written and expressed, Amy, I so love it. And your drawing is fabulous. I love analogies and your analogy of your feelings and a garden and not quite knowing what is growing there is abasolutely wisdom beyond your years. I am so glad I have become friends with you, you inspire me, you make me smile, and quite simply said I love and adore you. Keep up the great work and your garden will grow into a beautiful place of serenity, hope and love. It took me years to "plant my garden" and now that is flourishing and growing in terms of my life...I'll soon be 64, I can honestly say, I've found peace and I know you will too. Love and Hugs! xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks my Cheryl! I'm happy we are friends too! You have been so encouraging about my girls from the very beginning...I remember being so critical about them, just seeing all the things I did wrong and you would always say how nice they were...I don't know if I would have kept at them if it weren't for you! And it's not just me, I know you are so much of a boost to all the ladies in the groups...to be encouraging, that is the best giving a person can do I think, and you are always so kind and loving with your words! <3
DeleteI hope that if I keep at it I can get my 'garden' whipped into shape! You and Boo and all the ladies give me hope that in time it can happen! Big squishes back to you! <3
You are so on the right track, Sweet. First you have to be aware of your feelings, then you accept them and finally you can take action. That takes a while. I'm with you girl... on this journey. I've been where you are... I love the garden analogy. And the little girl is just precious.
ReplyDeleteThanks Boo! I'm happy that we're in this journey together! If I'm going in your direction, then I know I'm going the RIGHT direction!
DeleteI was sitting in my garden the other day (before the neighbour trashed it, obviously) and I realised dandelion flowers are a really gorgeous shade of yellow... xx
ReplyDeleteThey really are! Plus they have those fun seeds to blow! That's the best!
DeleteI would also like to offer to come beat up your neighbor for you...it is not ok to displease a pregnant lady...I would be glad to be of service if I can... :)
Sweets, you are one smart cookie. Love you bunches!!! Hugs, Pam
ReplyDeleteI love you too, Pam! <3
Delete