Day #3 of the countdown to 30.
I was thinking all day about how disgruntled yesterday's post seemed. That's a good word for it, I think. That's just how I felt, too. No apologies! But I don't want that to be a major theme of my personality. I'm happy I got it out, because now there's room for different feelings.
It's good to see that I do have some kinds of real feelings, even if they're not the ones I want. I'm trying not to let myself push that negative feeling down completely. If I feel negative, I want to understand why I'm feeling that way. If I can figure out where the negative stuff comes from, then I can start to eliminate the cause. Once the negative stuff is understood and discarded, there will be more room for positive things.
With that in mind, here's today's page:
|The journaling says: "I'm not sure what they are yet...it's quite possible they're weeds. But I won't know till they get a little bigger. So I'm just gonna water them and watch them grow. And if, in the end, they're no good, I'll uproot them, toss them aside and start over. No harm done. It's just gonna take time and elbow grease, and that's ok. I need the practice anyway, I think. I need to relearn how to care, then I'll be ready for the good stuff."|
I know it will take time and hard work on my part. Right now, in my head, it's like a chaotic desert with a bunch of tumbleweeds swirling around, littering the landscape, and not much else happening. But eventually, I'm going to have a garden...a place of peace and beauty and serenity. Won't that be nice?