Enough Nerve

Today, I've got my spread for JOURNAL 52'S prompt "Collage Crazy":

"Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve." -J.K. Rowling

I can't even explain how much I love this spread!

Scrapbook paper base, followed by napkins, a wash of color, followed by gesso through a stencil and some glorious drippage!

Hubba hubba!

It's not my usual for sure, but I really love how this turned out!   SQUEAL OF DELIGHT!  SQUEAL OF DELIGHT!

Sigh.  Glorious!

I'm magically in love with this spread, and I love the sentiment behind it as well...the idea that the world is my oyster if I can only work up some nerve...or moxy if you will...I love that word...moxy.

I've worked on getting my moxy back since I've made my major life move...and one thing I did was to get a haircut:

Ugh.  Selfies.  But on the positive side, my hair is fabulous.

Considering the fact that my hair was halfway down my back when I got this cut, I'd say that more than a little moxy was required.  But I love it!

When I got my haircut, the lady (who my sister uses and recommended) said "You know, you just have the perfect attitude to pull this haircut off."  Which I took as a huge compliment, because to me, short hair takes confidence.  You don't have anything to hide behind...to shrink into when you're nervous.  You're just out there!  

So maybe my moxy wasn't entirely gone...it was just simmering quietely beneath the surface...waiting to be let loose on the world...

Two Wild and Crazy Guys

Last post, I mentioned that I was working on my Documented Life cover for 2015's journal...which is very mischievous and irresponsible of me because I haven't done 2014's covers yet!  (I will, I will!)

Well, I finished up last night and here's what I did:

The front cover of my 2015 Documented Life journal!

I always seem to have trouble getting accurate colors to come through on my camera.  I'm pretty sure it's user error...like not understanding lighting or something.  This next picture is much more true to color:

SO CUTE!!!  *shameless self-back patting!*

I really enjoyed working on the cover.  It's thick cardboard, so it didn't bend or curl up when I put the gesso on or when I was working on the subsequent wet layers...that non-curling was VERY nice!

Here's what I did on the inside of the front cover:

Quack!

I learned a little lesson from when I painted the cow from last post, which was to stop being impatient and go ahead and gesso the page, the results are much better!  I didn't do it on the cow page because I didn't want to wait for it to dry, and when you don't use the gesso, the Neocolor II's just kind of sink into the page and become more muted...they're also harder to shift around and blend.  When I worked on these two pages, I gesso-ed them.  I like that adding the gesso layer lets me get more movement out of the paint and I think it makes the colors brighter/bolder as well.

On these two pages, I also learned that I should do an initial layer of color with my Inktense pencils...because I like how that looks much better.  You can kind of see the difference in the backgrounds of the pages especially.  

On the bunny page, where the orange background is, I did a layer of yellow Inktense underneath and it comes through a little.  On the other hand, on the Duckling page, the purple background has just the white gesso underneath...you can see it in the places where the Neocolors are too thin.  I think it's a personal preference kind of thing, but I just think the bunny looks a little more dynamic and lively, and my guess is it's because of that under-wash of color.

I think the duckling is cute, but I am REALLY in love with that bunny page!  As always, you can see the reference photos I used on my Pinterest board called "For Your Reference" (There's a link to my Pinterest stuff in the sidebar.)

Now that I've got my 2015 cover done, I'm going to buckle down and finish my 2014 covers...I'm not really finished with those journals till the covers are done, right?  And I'm SO CLOSE to my goal of not being a flake...I don't want to mess up now!!!  So look for that post to come in the next couple days...

Just a quick side note: where I live, the temperature today is 1...with a windchill of -20...so I hope wherever you are, you are staying warm and toasty and that you will send me warm and toasty thoughts...I need them today! <3<3<3

Tempting and Choosing

I don't know if it counts as being an overachiever for JOURNAL 52 since I actually do this quite a lot without it being a prompt, but I ended up with another spread that was inspired by a song this week.

I was listening to this song, "Harlem River Blues" by Justin Townes Earle:

And I fell hard in love and had to make a page.  (Also, if you have the time, check out THIS version, which is a much more stripped down, live version...you can hear a really interesting difference in the way the song feels!)

There's a Tom Waits quote where he says something to the effect of "I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things." and I guess I must agree with Tom, because I just love this song!  Actually the whole album is great...I've been listening to it on repeat for days.  I tend to do that when I find music I love...I can't help it...I always feel like I've found some kind of secret treasure and I just want to blast this fantastic noise out into the universe and get it into the ears of anyone who happens to be close enough to hear...I just want to share that treasure, you know?

At any rate, here's the page I made:  

"I'm no fool, mama, I know the difference between tempting and choosing my fate."
Egads, that's a brilliant set of words!

It feels like its been a long time since I did any collage type stuff!  It was an accidental collage situation...I was doing a gesso resist technique and apparently I got a little heavy handed with the water and my page started to peel really bad (you can see it a little in the middle bottom on the right page)...so there was some stealthy collage work that managed to happen, and I really like the spread.  

There will almost always be a shout of "Huzzah!" from me for happy accidents...and, usually, the especially 'Huzzah' moments end up happening for the times I am most angered by the initial accident!

 I think 'this is going to be so cool!', then the accident happens, cursing my fate and shaking my fist in anger comes next, and then I generally figure out a way to fix it and usually end up liking it better by the time I'm finished...not always, but often enough that you'd think I would less prone to fist shaking and fate cursing!

There's probably a life lesson in there about how when things don't go as planned, we shouldn't freak out, but instead, take a breath and figure out Plan B...there are, after all, very few times when things are as bad as they first seem.  That whole "Keep calm and carry on" mentality has merit to it...even though sometimes I'm much better at 'freak out and fall over'...haha...

-

On an unrelated note, I was wondering if you could help me with something.  

I've been pondering over the pictures that I share of my art stuff and questioning whether I like the close-up, cropped views (like the picture in the beginning) that have been my go-to for a long time.

I am wondering if I would be better to include the un-cropped picture instead.

I was looking at the not cropped version of today's page:

Is this better?

...and thought that it gave the full effect of the spread a little better than the close-up cropped version did...they're the same picture, but they look miles apart.

And then I wondered if the extra stuff that I propped my journal up on (not because it needed propped up, but because my studio is a hot mess and its easier to prop it up on the stuff than to find an empty space...) was distracting or weird or in poor taste or something, so I kicked the stuff out of the way (like an adult) and took this picture:

...more clean floor space than my studio has seen in a long time...

...of the journal on the floor.  I just realized that I could have fibbed and said 'table' instead of 'floor' and then you wouldn't have to know how bad I am for having piles of stuff stacked on every available surface...but you're my friends and I just can't lie to you...

Anywho...I was just wondering if you had any sort of preference between the three photos in the post today...or if you have any other alternatives (that don't include me keeping the studio clean...I mean, let's be realistic ☺), I would welcome them with open arms and much appreciation!

High and Low

The prompt for Journal 52 this week was to use a photograph in your art in some way.  You can read more about that HERE. 

I love what other people can do using pictures and seamlessly blending them into their art.  Major gorgeousness!  I, however, am not very practiced at doing this.  So, because I don't actually have a huge amount of photos, and because I was scared that I would ruin one of the few photos that I do have, I used a photo from an Ikea magazine.  I think this is actually a really good way to practice putting photographs in your art, without the fear of ruining said photo.  I am going to keep practicing with magazine pictures till I get better, and then I will start incorporating actual photos.

So here's what I did:

I looked high and low.

First off, not to shabby for one of my first attempts, right?  I started off with a page that had spray inks already on it, I think from a failed experiment with stencils...basically, the page was a scrap piece of watercolor paper when I started out.  It was horrible looking.  

So I was going to just cover it over with some gesso and start fresh...but when I did that, the ink smeared around (duh, water-soluble spray inks!  I knew that...) and I really liked what accidentally I absolutely knew was going to happen...  

When it was dry, I glued down my magazine photo, and covered it with a thin layer of Glossy Accents so that I easily wipe away anything that accidentally got where it shouldn't get.  It ended up making the picture have those neat ripples in it, which I think makes it look like an older photo.  I imagine if I had done this with a black and white magazine photo, it would totally look like a weather beaten vintage pic!  Again, hooray for happy accidents absolutely knowing what was going to happen from the moment I started...  

Then I used gesso mixed with Dylusions to try and make the image look like it was part of the page instead of sitting on top.  I think this could be done a little more effectively, and I will try more/different things to blend it in next time. 

 Then I added the big lettering at the bottom, and when everything was dry, I took a white pen and did all that scribbley, messy journaling around the photo.  Yes, there are words.  Yes, that is my actual handwriting.  Yes, I can read it.  I know!  I keep telling you I have 12 year old boy handwriting!  To get to the point where I was sure no one else could read it, I wrote down the page first, then turned it horizontally and wrote over that, then turned it diagonally and wrote more and then diagonally the other direction and wrote even more.  That's a good way to get things out of your head, while ensuring no one else will be able to read what you wrote.

I used this song as part of the inspiration for my page:

I think it describes my feelings pretty well in regards to the loss of my friend.  I don't walk around in a cloud of despair everyday like I used to.  I'm learning how to live with what happened, and be happy with the world as it is.  I don't look for him anymore.  I have stopped trying to find pieces of him in the people I meet.  It was driving me crazy to live like that.  And I'm better now that I have come to realize that, even though he's gone and even though no one else in the world will be exactly what he was, I am lucky to have had him in my life and I should take that for what it is and be happy for it.  And most days are happy days.  But the anniversary of his death was Saturday, and I have come to understand that it seems no matter where I am or what I am doing, May 10th will always be tinted with sadness for me.  I imagine that too will get easier with time, but I can't imagine never feeling at least a little sad.   And that's ok.  I don't think anyone gets through life with a pristine heart.  They're all all a little scarred or a little broken.

To paraphrase Rumi, the cracks are where the light shines through.  We take what we have learned from those we love, and we share it with others, consciously or unconsciously.  We empathize with the pain of other people, even if the reason for their pain is not the same as ours.  We just know it hurts, and we can feel that hurt in our own hearts.  Maybe we help them get through it in some small way.  And maybe we learn to love our scars and our broken hearts, not because we wish for them, but because of what they mean...because of who they've made us...because we're lucky to have them...  Because even though they're banged up, they're still beating.