Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Maps And Charting Courses

For DOCUMENTED LIFE (DLP) this week, the prompt was to "Add A Map" and here's what I did:

I do love a nifty post card...saving my lazy butt from having to draw a map just gives it bonus points...

And here it is with the post card flipped over:

She's a little wonky looking, so the postcard covers up the wonky it reminds me of a blindfold...the girl can't see where she's going...yeah, metaphors for life and stuff...

I like to think of my girl's wonky eye as a twitch...
Good old twitchy eye...she's tired of the curve balls.

...because I feel like I've got my own eyeball twitch going on right about now.  

If you've been reading the blog for a while, you know how much time and effort I've put into getting myself to a place I'm happy with.  And I kinda thought that I was close to being done with know, the home stretch...

But after the unexpected epiphany I talked about in the last post, I realized that the finish line is no where in sight.  *Sigh.*  All that work and I'm still not even close to done.  Maybe this is the point where I hit "the wall" and it seems like I'm not gonna reach my goal.  Then comes the second wind, right?  Yeah, I'm ready for the second wind now...

"Where do I go from here?"

I don't know if I've ever been much of a planner...  I think I've always been a bit of a jumper and then a figure-it-outer...  But now I'm older and I've gotten used to the relative stability that slowly crept into my life.  I guess I got these expectations that things would continue in a certain way...and now I see that's not the way it needs to be.  

I know it will be ok.  I will be ok.  I will figure it out and move forward.  I've done it before.  I can do it now.  But it won't be the headlong dive into the unknown that I'm somewhat used to.  Instead, it will have to be slow, calculated steps...and I don't like that; it makes me feel sneaky.  And I don't like or want to be just doesn't seem like I have much of a choice this time.

I've always been good at imagining the life that I want, but never at figuring out how to make it happen.  Now I've got to learn how to make a plan and stick to it.  I've changed a lot over the years, especially the last maybe it won't be as hard as I think.  It's just a matter of looking at the map and charting the course.  And then, at some point, taking the first step in a new direction.

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