Fashion Makes Me Feel Old

I'm getting old.

Allow me to explain...

Have you ever had one of those moments where you suddenly knew you were no longer part of the current generation?  An example of this is when I was a kid and I have a first memory of my mom saying "Cool".  That wasn't a thing for her to say...that's what young people say.  Yeah, well, now I'm my mom and I'm feeling the urge to start saying this generation's version of "cool".

And, I'm just saying, it's all the fault of this week's JOURNAL 52 (J52) prompt, "Fashion"...now I'm only 31, is this an appropriate age to start feeling like I'm in the later generation?  Isn't it a little early for all that?  Shouldn't I have a few more years...or is that what all the old people say?

Let me tell you how J52 ruined my life this week:

I was going along in my life, unaware that I am now passe...and then I go do a Pinterest search for Fashion...and all hell breaks loose.  

Because here's a few examples of what shows up when you do that search:

A onesie?  When did we start stealing toddler's clothes for our own purposes?
 This girl is so rightly ashamed she doesn't even want her face in the picture...

Yet another look stolen from babies...this time, the "really soggy diaper weighing down my britches" look.
I don't know why you'd want the illusion that your private parts were so close to your knees...I'm pretty sure that's a medical condition...

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we have these...former mom jeans, that died, came back as shorts so short that they basically are underpants that you wear over your underpants, and then the shorts died and are slowly migrating towards heaven...just let them go...they deserve to be at peace...

At this point, I gave up on my "Fashion" search, and just tried searching "cute clothes instead...

Which yielded the following:

My initial reaction when I saw this was that the girl had some sort of horrible burns on the top of her legs, necessitating gauze pads...but no, those are just the pockets...

I'm not sure whether to be grateful to the sequins for distracting me from the skirt made from the stoner blanket or vise versa...Also, if your skirt is so tight that there is a permanent wrinkle at your body's natural fold lines, perhaps you should go up a size?

Now, please don't get mad at me if you like these clothes and here I am insulting them...different strokes for different folks and all that...  You're perfectly welcome to insult the clothes I found that I think are nice if you would want to.  

I'm just pointing out these clothes are the reason I feel old now.  Because I should be sitting on a park bench somewhere scolding passers by on their newfangled young people clothing...I'm just a crotchety old woman!

Now, in a perfect world...one where I had a smoking hot bod...here's the clothes I would be rocking:

Look at this girl...adorable.  I might not be a fan of her purse...or nude shoes in general... but I feel like the dress is a good start.

The appropriate way to wear tights...as tights. NOT as pants.  Also, I like that even though nothing 'matches' it all goes together...she'd be a really good paint scheme...

It's so FLUFFY!!!  ...and this is one of the very few instances where I would approve of me wearing sparkly things...

I found that I apparently like this shape/style of dress quite a bit...
What if I wore this dress...

...with this colorful tutu thingy underneath?
How much crazy fun is that?!?

But it's not all cutesy frilly dresses in my dream fashion world, oh no!

There's also THIS:

Picture it: Sicily, 2014...A young woman strolls down the street, turning the heads of all the men, leading to arguments with their wives later that night...

How about a Va-va-voom pencil skirt?

And it's not all skirts and dresses in my dream world:

This looks comfortable and artistic to me.
I like loose pants...especially as they pertain to me not having the inevitable muffin top...
just my natural fat rolls...

And this lady...she looks cool...and it's not just the cigarette! (haha...don't get mad, it's a joke)
I don't know about the weird seams on the jeans, but I really like the look of a tailored shirt with jeans...

And if you make that shirt plaid flannel, you just made my day!
Look how happy she is...she looks like she'd be a nice lady...

I guess what I'm saying is that in my perfect fashion world, you could be cutesy, vampy, or lumberjack chic...  

In my current state of being, I think I'd feel comfortable wearing the last three outfits.

I tend to be a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal, I guess...

That thought led me to my actual page for the J52 "Fashion" prompt:

"I want to wear cute dresses...without feeling awkward."
Also, I just realized I used 'where' not 'wear' when I wrote the journaling...
Darn tricky homonyms!

In my dream world, I'd wear all those adorable skirts and dresses and be confident and fabulous...  However, in the real world, I feel really awkward wearing anything other than pants...In my head, it's like I'm trying to be fancy but I'm not and anyone who sees me knows I'm wearing a lie.  I feel the same way about makeup...it looks good on other people...but on me, I feel like I did it wrong and am something akin to Ronald McDonald...  I can occasionally muster mascara and lipstick, but any time I'm tempted to try using anything more than that, I immediately get the Bozo the clown feeling about myself...

I'd love to be able to wear whatever I wanted and not care about how I feel other people might view me...I'd just wear my cute dresses and be happy...but that's not reality for me at all.

Maybe I need to look at it like this: those first five outfits are (according to someone at Pinterest anyway) current fashion.  The young people are going for stuff like that...and they are comfortable in it...they are confident enough to go out of the house (on purpose) looking that way...

But I feel like those are hideous, horrible outfits and my eyeballs hurt from looking at them...

So, why can't I confidently wear the clothing I find visually stimulating with the same confidence as those girls in the ugly (in my eyes) clothes?  What's up with that?

Perhaps the hideous outfits of the new generation can serve a purpose for an old lady like me after all...  To remind me that I should dress for me...it doesn't matter about someone else's opinion...as long as all the scandalous bits are covered, what does it matter?

What do you think?  Are you a fashionista or do you just manage to cover the bits with whatever's available?  Do you have a go-to outfit/style?  Are you confident and comfortable no matter what you wear?  Or do you need your normal to be ok?